Of Many Things
by katieupatree
Summary: Lisbon never expected the last hours of her life to play out like this, with Patrick Jane, discussing her dreams and drinking tea. Jane is with Lisbon as she dies. Character death, but done in a romantic way. I promise it will make better sense inside!
1. one

Good evening all.  
>First i would just like to say that if you are waiting for an update of 'Crimson Reverie' thankyou for reading my work, i do intend to finish it, i just need a bit more time to work out how.<br>& Now onto my new story. It is again for The Mentalist, but something very different to what i have written before. It is intended to be a story of Jisbon, but not one of a happy ending.  
>I don't want to give too much away, just that i hope you enjoy what you read..<br>But before you do, my bribes have yet to work, and i therefore still have no claims over The Mentalist, nor the characters within. ;)

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter One**

_"Are you scared?"_  
>Lisbon looked up at Jane, shocked by his words; by their abruptness, he was never one to cut corners. She supposed she should be glad of it, that he hadn't changed, she thought that it perhaps meant he truly cared. But who was she to go around thinking things like that. He was the mentalist, not her.<br>Her breath almost failing her, she decided that it was the time for truth; it was literally now or never. _"Of many things, yes, but not of this." _She saw her words hit him. She had done the impossible. She had shocked Patrick Jane.  
>His eyes began to water as he looked deep into her own. They had lost their sparkle. That forest green, normally so deep with passion, was slowly being washed away. Replaced by something altogether more grey. He didn't understand her answer. How could she not fear this? How could she seem so ok about it all? She was dying. She was dying, and she wasn't scared. Was there anything this woman feared? Sometimes he thought that perhaps there wasn't. Perhaps she just didn't have that emotion within her. But she had just admitted that she was scared of many things, and he felt an odd kind of responsibility to take away her fear, the least she deserved was to die knowing that nothing in her world could harm her. No one should die with fear in their heart.<p>

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><p>I know it is very short, but it is just an introduction, and i will be adding the second chapter straight after this one.<br>Thankyou ever so much for reading, Katie.


	2. two

As i promised, Chapter two.

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Two  
><strong>

She realised that it wasn't normal. Everyone feared death, didn't they? At Least, we are taught that we are supposed to for as long as we can remember. That it is this terrifying judgement day. Heaven or Hell? Perhaps nothing at all. None of that was important to Lisbon though, it was out of her hands. It was far more useful to fear things that she could control. Life. How it ends doesn't matter, it's what you do with it that really counts. It wasn't death that she had to fear; it was time.

That day had started out like any other; for the most part it had played out like any other. She had always thought that if she were to die, it would be from some great act of bravery. She would go down fighting. All guns blazing. Heart racing. Adrenaline pumping. Blood flowing. But no, she didn't even have that. She had headed to the grocery store on her way home from work; bags in hand she was mere feet away from her car when the all too familiar sound of gun fire rang out from the darkness. She ducked, at least she tried too, but it was too late. Bang. Bang. Bang. And then silence. Everything slowed down, the world darkened a little, went blurry around the edges. She could hear people all around. A woman was screaming. Another calling out for 911. A car speeding so fast that the wind echoed in it's wake. A man's voice too. And a child. It all seemed so far away though. Like she was listening through water. All she could focus on was the fire that was burning through her entire body. Every where the pain seared, the cold followed. Never had she felt cold like this before. She felt as if her life was being frozen. Like her blood had been replaced with poison. It was too much for her to take. Her eye lids weighed a thousand tonnes. Impossibly hard to keep open. And as the voices grew ever further away, and the cold ever greater; her need to close them won over. And then it all stopped. She was somewhere all together more wonderful. She was being allowed to dream her time away, completely unaware to what was happening to her lifeless body. To the commotion, and the madness that surrounded her. She was somewhere that could only be described as heaven; if you believed in it, of course.

"Lisbon.. Lisbon" Something, or better still, someone was trying to pull her away from the magical place in which she was in. At first she thought the voice was coming from inside of her wonderful dream land, an angel perhaps. Then it got louder, more persistent. "Please, Teresa, you have to wake up." She recognised the voice, the use of her first name sent shivers down her spine, but there was something about the tone that scared her. Patrick Jane's voice, however lovely, never portrayed as much emotion as it had in that single sentence. She needed to find out why. She needed to escape from her own mind. Her eyes were lighter now than they had been before. Her open lids allowed light to flood suddenly into her pupils. She tightened them again, not prepared for the blaring white that her met her. This time she tried the slow and steady approach, peeling them ever so slightly apart. She searched about for the one thing that had rescued her from her own personal entrapment; Patrick Jane. Her eyes sought out his. Needing to see the beautiful blue orbs she had become so accustomed to over the years, and when she did, she knew what had been in his voice. She wouldn't need to ask, emotion was written all over his being. His eyes were screaming out fear, and pain, and hope.  
>"Hey." She hated how scratching her voice sounded. Like she hadn't spoken in a very long time. Despite this, she smiled up at him, igniting the hope in his soul.<br>"Hey." He replied, gently grasping her hand in his own, "you my dear, sound like you need a cup of tea."  
>A smile to match her own spread across his handsome face, and in that moment she was never more grateful for the ability to open her eyes. At Least,she was until the realisation of where she was hit her. How hadn't she noticed before? Machines were beeping in every direction. Pipes, and tubes, and wires had been shoved under her skin. The unmistakable scent of disinfectant hung heavy in the air. She was in a hospital. Panic building. Heart Racing. Her eyes widened in fear, and her breath caught in her throat. She felt like she was suffocating, and that pain; that overwhelming pain returned. Not even the gentle voice of Jane could save her now. She was being sucked back into that place. The place she had moments ago thought of to be heaven, but now feared that it was some kind of hell. She didn't want to go. She wanted to stay here. To stay on earth. To stay alive. <p>

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><p>Okay, so far, what do you think? Should i keep it going?<br>Thankyou for reading, Katie.


	3. three

Thankyou to everyone who has revieved the first two chapters, or added this story to their alerts / favourites. It is lovely to know you like what i right.  
>Here is chapter three...<p>

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Three**

Jane was sat in the same chair that he had been for the past several hours; refusing to move until he had news on Lisbon. Most people would have slumped down by now, rested their heads, shut theirs eyes, but Jane thought that this was a sign of defeat. He needed Lisbon to be ok. He needed her to be alive. Something was telling him to keep positive; maybe his energy would work it's way to her fragile body. He didn't understand why this was happening. Why she had to be the one lying on that damn operating table, naked and vulnerable. He would give anything to trade placed with her, but he knew, all too well, that it didn't work like that. The world was far too terrible a place for that. So, here he found himself, alone in a hospital room. When the team had found out what had happened they went into over drive. Cho had of course taken charge. He, along with Grace and Rigsby, was determined to catch the bastards that had done this. Goodness knows how the agents would react if they found the culprit; no one messed with their family. Jane felt almost sorry for them. Almost.  
>So that is why Jane was alone. He was no good at the 'cop' stuff, at least not without Lisbon by his side. He was good with people though, and Lisbon would need that when she woke up. It had to be 'when', any other option didn't bare thinking about.<p>

Just as Jane was contemplating heading out in search of tea; it was much needed at times like this, he was joined in the room by who he presumed was Lisbon's surgeon. Dr. Jenson. Tibby Jenson to be exact, or so her hospital badge read. Much younger than Jane had expected, although he hadn't really had much contact with hospital staff since, well since the only day of his life that was anywhere near as catastrophic as this one was turning out to be. Her deep auburn hair was swept back, messy after the removal of a scrub cap. Clean hands, but bloodied scrubs. Dark blue scrubs, with a green hem around the neck. Trainers. Not branded. Comfortable looking. Well warn. An almost ghostly pale complexion, but healthy still, porcelained skin. Deep blue eyes. The closest to navy he had ever seen.  
>You could always count on Patrick Jane to notice a million things about every single person he laid eyes upon. Normally it was simple curiosity, but today his talents help a far darker purpose. He thought that maybe he would find a clue as to Lisbon's condition from within her surgeon. So he could prepare himself for the news he was about to receive. He could put on a brave face if he knew what to expect. But no, not even the deep set eyes of Dr. Jenson gave her away. Jane had only ever seen such a stoic expression in Cho; on such a young and beautiful women it was quite mesmerising.<br>_'You must be Patrick Jane, i'm Dr. Jenson, Teresa's surgeon_,' she waited to see if the man was going to make any attempt at reply before continuing, _'i'm afraid that there were some serious complications during her surgery...'_  
>No, it couldn't be right. Her words were not the truth. Complications meant bad news. Everyone knew that. Jane was trying desperately to listen to the words coming from Dr. Jenson, but his world had just grown ever darker, and all he could think of was his desperate need to see Teresa see these complications for himself.<br>_'Can i see her?'_ Jane's voice was but a whisper against the bustle of the hospital wards.  
><em>'Of Course , I have to warn you though, Teresa is on life support at the minute, we will assess her case later on to see if she can breathe for herself, but for now she must stay on the ICU. Her appearance may be a shock to you, just, be prepared before you go to her.'<em> and with her words echoing through his mind, Jane followed Dr. Jenson through countless monotonous corridors, all the time his need to see Lisbon building up inside of him.

He had been staring, for what felt like hours, through the window of the hospital ward at Lisbon's tiny frame; almost miss-able amongst the machinery keeping her alive. He couldn't bring himself to go in. He couldn't face seeing her like that. She was always so brave. So bold. So full of life. And now she was, he didn't even know what she was. It didn't bare thinking about. If it wasn't for the constant beeping that surounded her, he would have thought her to be dead. A thought that hit him far harder than he had ever expected. After his beautiful wife and child had been stolen from him so cruelly, Jane had felt so many terrible things. Anger. Hatred. A need for revenge. But never had he experienced a feeling like this before. Such desperation. He needed Lisbon to make it through this. He didn't know what he would do if she didn't. He simply couldn't live, if she wasn't.  
>With one last look, he took in an almighty breath, and pushed through the heavy glass door that lead him to the surreal world of the intensive care unit. The clean smell that hospitals had seemed to be intensified in here. Like the chemicals were burned into his brain. Blood too. That metallic taste rang through his senses. All around him people were rushing about. Nurses checking on an almost endless list of patients. Doctors discussing medical notes. Surgeons returning from the OR. Loved ones clinging onto every last hope.<p>

Jane sank into yet another sterile chair. His posture had lost it's hopefulness. Replaced by dark thoughts of a terrifying world; one that Lisbon was not apart of. Not knowing of anything to say, or do, to make things better. He couldn't fix this. He couldn't fix her. All he could do was be there for her. He took Lisbon's hand in his own, the warmth surprising him; igniting the small hope he had left that their was life left inside of her yet, and clung on to it with all the strength that he had. '_Teresa..'_

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><p>Thankyou again, i hope that i did not disapoint.<br>Katie.


	4. four

**Of Many Things  
>Chapter Four<br>**

_'Teresa, i need you to wake up, okay. We all need you to_.' Jane was whispering his words to the ghostly figure in the bed sheets, he feared that he may be asked to stop if he spoke any louder. It didn't seem right to allow anyone else to hear what he was saying; what made his words more important than theirs. It was such a surreal place. It was like everyone within the walls of the ICU had given up hope. Tears flowed freely from the eyes of visitors. A last goodbye to the ones they loved. Teresa didn't belong here. The whole ward echoed with the sound of death. This wasn't her place. She wasn't one of those lost souls, simply waiting for death to take them. No, he would spend his whole life whispering to her if it meant she would escape this deathly place. He had no idea if she could hear him, but it didn't matter. Maybe she would fight that little bit more if she knew there was someone with her. Someone who needed her. Maybe she would live, for him.

Jane was suddenly aware of someone watching him, from the window where he had stood before. He wasn't sure how long he had been at Lisbon's bed side. Time seemed so meaningless. All he could do was wait; what did minutes or hours matter? He turned to see the solemn faces of Rigsby, Cho, Grace; the three agents he had come to call his family over the past years, but they weren't looking at him, perhaps not even seeing him; all their focus was on their boss. Almost unrecognisable to the abundant life force that she normally was. That she would be again.  
>Jane, not wanting to leave her side, but needing to know if they had any information on who had done this, reluctantly headed in their direction. A squeeze of Lisbon's hand as he left in way of a promise to return as soon as he could.<p>

_'The bullets retrieved from the scene are being run through the data base, it could take days, and that's our only lead as yet_.' Cho, expertly controlling his emotions, relayed the facts to Jane. There was, after all, nothing else that he could say. They had so far failed Lisbon. They had nothing. No information. Not even a theory. The attack seemed to be completely random. Which made the consequences even more devastatingly tragic. The wrong place, at the wrong time. That was all. It wasn't fair. Although he would never admit it, Cho needed Lisbon, she was his best friend; in an obscure kind of way. They just had to rely on the physical evidence. Yet more machines were churning out information. As soon as they had a result on the bullets they would be back on the case, but for now the three had decided that the only place they could be was here. With Lisbon.  
>An eerie silence had fallen over them. Information taken in, but not quite comprehended. To the outside world they looked so out of place. Just four people staring into the abyss. Pain evident in all their eyes. Worry written across their entire being. No words seemed right. Nothing could describe what they were feeling. It was an impossible mix of such terrible things. So there they stood. Rooted to the spot. Staring hopelessly into the hospital room that encased their fearless leader.<p>

At some point they had all moved to sit around Lisbon's bedside. Varying stages of exhaustion washing over them. Jane clutching desperately to her fragile hand. Grace huddled up against Rigsby's strong shoulder; tears glistening down her cheeks. Rigsby himself staring helplessly at Lisbon's slight figure. Cho, although no emotion could be seen, gave himself away by the countless glances he gave the door; he needed someone to tell him what was happening. And then there was Lisbon, who seemed to be growing increasingly grey, yet her state remained unchanged. Machines whirled around them. One pumping her heart. One supplying her with oxygen. Others that were not truly understood by anyone without a medical degree. Not a word had passed their lips in hours, except for Jane, who had been talking at a constant to Lisbon. Reminding her over, and over again that _'they needed her'_. His vain hopes of keeping her alive the only thing keeping him sane.

Dr. Jenson walked over to the group, hating to interrupt them, but needing to do so all the same. She had introduced herself to her patients colleagues when they had arrived, almost 2 hours ago now, recognising them immediately from the air of authority that had surrounded them. That which was being slowly warn down as each minute passed.  
>It was time to try removing Lisbon from life support. It was the only way they would truly be able to see the damage that had been done. A person could survive on life support for years, but it wasn't living. Sometimes the only thing that could be done was to make them comfortable in their last hours. There was something about the agent, who had mere hours ago been lying on her operating table, that effected Dr. Jenson. She could feel herself willing the agent to survive. More so than she had ever done before.<br>_'I'm sorry, we must ask you to leave the room for a while. As we discussed earlier, we are going to remove Teresa from life support to assess her condition_,' Dr. Jenson wasn't expecting them to leave willingly, she could see the love they had for their boss, _'I promise to find you as soon we know anything_.' and with the knowledge that Teresa was in trustworthy hands, the agents made their way out of her room and once more into the corridor. This time however, the blinds were tightly closed against the window, preventing them from their much needed contact with her. With a shared feeling of dread and hope, they each sunk into one of the brown plastic chairs that lined the walls. Closing their minds to all the possibilities of the next few minutes, and thinking about nothing at all. Anything else was just too painful.

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><p>Thankyou for reading.<br>I had intended to get into the main part of the story during this chapter, but i also didn't want to rush it.  
>I hope you like what i write. &amp; if not, then i hope that it atleast makes you feel something.<p>

Chapter 5 will be up tomorrow (hopefully) Thankyou again.  
>Katie.<p> 


	5. five

**Of Many Things  
>Chapter Five<br>**

A person could survive for years on life support, but was that really living? Dr. Jenson had never been personally faced with this question; but it was one that she offered advise on in her career all of the time. What gave her the right to input on people's lives like that? Just because she had the skills needed to stitch people back together, didn't mean that she knew what was best for them. At Least that is what she told herself. But she was a doctor, a good one at that, of course she had an opinion on the matter. She couldn't make it through a single day of work without it. Honesty hurt. Telling a patient that they were going to die hurt. Watching their family and friends crumble under the grief hurt. But it was apart of her job. Apart of her life. She had become resilient to the pain; she had to be, it wasn't hers to feel. Teresa Lisbon was different though. There was something so captivating about the young woman who's life was currently bundled into her steady hands. She wanted more than anything to go out to the four lost souls waiting in the corridor and deliver them good news. A glimmer of hope. She wanted more than anything to have something that she would never get. Teresa Lisbon was dying. Despite her greatest effort and eternal hope, she was unfixable.  
>They had reduced Lisbon's pain medication enough to wake her up, and explained how removing someone from life support was the only way to assess their condition. They had to be allowed to live for themselves. But this was something that Lisbon was unable to do. It had been a vain hope. Injuries as severe as Lisbon's rarely allowed for life to carry on. 9mm didn't seem a lot, but when sent searing through a human being, the damage done was unimaginable. Arteries were ripped apart. Bones were shattered. Organs pierced, and left lifeless. Teresa was strong, but the bullets were stronger. As soon as the machines were switched off sirens blared from others. The unmistakable buzz of a flat line rang out. Her heart, so full of goodness, was now nothing more than meat. Compressions failed. Electricity too. There was nothing to be done except allow the woman, who Dr. Jenson felt so strongly for, to be able to say goodbye to the ones she loved. Like she said, a person could survive for years on life support. Years would not be given to Teresa Lisbon, but she would have a little time. Hours seem like nothing, but when it is all you have, they can be used so very wisely. It wasn't regularly done, but Dr. Jenson had ordered the machines, that were moments ago breathing life into Lisbon, to be switched back on. Blood would flow. Lungs would inflate. Life would be returned; if only for a little while. And when the time came; when they were all as ready as you could ever be for the end, they would be switch off again. This time however they would eternally stay that way. Lisbon was being given a right of passage, back into the waking world. Time to say goodbye; it was the least she deserved.<br>Dr. Jenson had explained all of this to Lisbon; the intricacies of her case. She had seen as realisation washed over the young woman's face. As it grew ever greyer. She had held her hand as the information was processed. Allowed her to understand, before moving on with the conversation. She waited for Lisbon to speak first; not wanting to interrupt her emotions.  
><em>'Thank You<em>.' It was such a simple statement, but it shook Dr. Jesnon to the core. She wished with all her heart the she could do more; but there was only so much that medicine, and science, and learning can do. Sometimes things just have to happen.  
><em>'Could i please tell my team myself, i mean, i think they will understand better if i do<em>.' Lisbon's words came stumbling out. Like she had almost forgotten how to use them. She truly appreciated the opportunity that had been given to her. If she had to leave this earth, at least she could leave a little of herself in it. A last goodbye to a world that she was not ready to leave. To the people she was not ready to leave.  
><em>'Of Course, i will invite them back in<em>,' was just about to open to door, when she turned back to face Lisbon. Sorrow in her eyes, _'I am truly sorry Teresa._' And Lisbon knew she meant it wholeheartedly. A small smile portrayed her feelings, as she was unable to speak anymore. The fear of what she was about to do was far greater than that of death. She was about to break their hearts.

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><p>Thankyou again for reading, Katie.<p> 


	6. six

**Of Many Things  
>Chapter Six<br>**

The team, lead by Cho, entered Lisbon's hospital room; each taking up their previous seats, this time however a wave of relief had washed over their features. Atleast in the case of Cho, Grace and Rigsby. Jane had the look of a man who knew what was coming. We all think that the fear in the unknown, but really it is in the possibilities. It is only when we are faced with the worst possible fate imaginable, that we wish with all our hearts to go back to not knowing. Not knowing means hope, and dreams, and a future. Knowing was an altogether different story. He had seen it in Dr. Jenson's eyes. All doctors were eerily capable at hiding their feelings. They were the essence of emotionless. Any other profession and it would be frowned upon; medically it was must. Her voice gave nothing away. A simple, '_you can go back in now', _purposefully ambiguous. To any other person, it would ignite hope. Surely being awake was a good sign. It meant life right? To any other person, yes. Not to Patrick Jane though. He had looked into her eyes. Into the soul of a young doctor who knew far more than they did. She knew what was waiting for them in that room, and it wasn't hope, or dreams, or a future. It was death. It was heartache. It was the unbearable truth. And waiting, to hear such ugly words come from the lips of such a beautiful soul, was sucking all that was good out of him.

Teresa waited until they had all settled, as much for her own sake as theirs. Her eyes dancing across each of their faces as they did so. She wanted to savour all that she could of them; her make-shift family, before she ran out of time. Not out of life, but out of time. She wanted to remember them how they looked now; free from grief and loss. She wanted a piece of happiness to take with her. A happiness that she herself had to destroy. With her words. Her fate.  
>'<em>It isn't good news<em>,' Lisbon wasn't sure how to begin, and her voice was barely holding out against her emotions, but if she stopped, they would start talking. And if that happened, she might never be able to start again. '_I don't have very long, really i have no time at all. They have done all they can for me. If they take me off of life support, my heart will stop. If i stay on it, i have no life to speak of. Dr. Jenson, she has done all that she can for me. Don't blame her, it's not her fault. She has given me more than many will get. She has given me a chance to say goodbye_.' She had to stop. She couldn't explain anymore. She hoped that they would understand without her having to actually say the word. Death. It was too final. She would face it when she had to, but for now, she wanted to talk about life. Her life may now be far shorter than she ever expected, but it still existed. She was still apart of the world. One that she wanted to remember as a place of love, not of decay.

She sat and watched as the emotions she was so fearful of, seeped across the faces of her beloved team. Each grasping at what her words meant. The finality of it all. And she waited, much like Dr. Jenson had done with her, for the emotions to play out in the entirety. Not wanting to breathe, let alone speak, before they were ready to. It may be her life attached to the bomb, but they would be left to deal with the wreckage.  
>When no words came to mind, Grace was the first to react. With tears freely flowing down her soft cheeks she pulled Lisbon into a hug that said all the she needed it to. Filled with sorrow, and apology, and desperation. Lisbon responded immediately, pulling the younger agent tight against her aching chest; needing the comfort more than she had realised.<br>Rigsby was next, gently guiding Grace away from the bedside, and replacing her small frame with his own. His hands squeezing tight on Lisbon's. He wanted so very much to offer her his words, but they all seemed so meaningless against the horrendous news she had shared with them. Instead settling for a hand to hold; a small comfort for the woman he so admired.  
>Cho, losing a little of his stoic shell, braved the words that his colleagues could not. Knowing that Lisbon would expect it of him, and not wanting to disappoint her. '<em>We'll get them, whoever did this to you, we will make sure they pay<em>.' And Lisbon knew that they would. She also knew that his words meant far more than they appeared to, but that he couldn't bring himself to form them. Not yet.  
>Lastly, she looked to Jane, who's silence truly scared her. He looked so lost. So alone. In a moment of utter hopelessness his walls were completely down, and she looked into the soul of a broken man. One who had already witnessed more loss and heartbreak than a person should ever have to, and was now staring into the face of more. She saw all that he had hidden from her. All that he had never intended to show. She saw the real Patrick Jane, and it broke her failing heart. Her hands grasped at his, and she found the strength to speak again; the strength to save him, '<em>Patrick, none of this is your fault<em>.'

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><p>Thankyou for your continued reading, it is greatly appreciated. Also to everyone who has commented.<br>I hope this chapter did not disappoint.  
>Katie.<p> 


	7. seven

**Of Many Things  
>Chapter Seven<strong>

'_But if i had been there, or stopped you from being there, then you wouldn't be... you wouldn't be here._' Dying. That is what she wouldn't be. Teresa Lisbon was dying, right in front of his eyes. Even though he had known it from the minute he saw , it seemed definite now. It wasn't a presumption; a clever guess. It was the truth. The whole, damn heartbreaking truth. All he  
>wanted was to swap places with her. To be the one lying amongst the sterile sheets. Lisbon had far more living left to do than he did. His life was over the moment he saw that smiley face, hauntingly spread across the wall of his once adored home. Lisbon wasn't like him. She had so much that she was still supposed to be.<br>_'No, Patrick, you listen to me. This, this is not what i imagined my death to be, but that it what it is. It isn't my fault, it isn't the doctor's fault, and it most certainly is not your fault. Now you will stop thinking like that, and will give me the goodbye that i deserve. I don't want my last memory of you, to be this. I want to die knowing that you, that all of you, are strong enough to carry on. To keep living. Because, now, you have to do it for me too. You have to be great, and those are not the words of a great man_.' Shock vibrated out across the room. A stunned silence. No one knew where Lisbon's strength of character came from, but they would all be eternally grateful for it. Even in her last hours she had the ability to be exactly who they needed her to be. She gave them the strength to go on, and in turn, they would make sure that Lisbon had all that she needed from them. When the reality of her fate truly set in, and her strength shattered. When all she had left was fear, her team would come through; they would be her hope, and her laughter, and her love.

Cho received a text asking him to call immediately on news of Lisbon's shooter. Not wanting to do so in front of her, he excused himself from the group and stepped out into the familiar corridor.  
><em>'Agent Cho.'<em>

_'Are you certain?'_

_'We will be right in.'  
><em>

Hanging up the phone, he re-entered Lisbon's hospital room. He gaunt complexion taking him by surprise; had he not noticed before, or had he simply not wanted to? Maybe knowing what was ahead of them had adjusted his perspective. Whatever it was, seeing Lisbon like this, it caused pain like no other. It radiated throughout his entire being. Boiling over. Turning into anger. Determination. He would make sure the people responsible would pay. Revenge had never seemed a useful emotion to Kimball Cho, but perhaps that was because he had never lost anyone of such importance to him. He loved Lisbon. It didn't matter that they had different blood flowing through their veins, he loved her with the same heart that he did his family.

'Boss, we've got a lead.' Most people would have thought it odd, still talking to Lisbon like they were sat in the bull pen, but it was what they all needed. To keep a little normality. To stop the weight of the day from destroying them completely. And Lisbon, she needed to feel involved. Of Course, her life as a senior agent was in the past now, but it didn't make her any less of a cop. It was something she was born to do. Something she would, inevitably, do until her last breath.  
>'<em>Go. You're in charge now. Rigsby, VanPelt, you are to answer to Senior Agent Kimball Cho from now on<em>.' They looked at her, outwardly begging to stay with her. '_I have Jane to keep me company, and i'm not.. i'm not going anywhere yet. You will get your chance_.' They all knew what she meant. Their chance to say goodbye. Something that was too horrendous to even think of doing. How can you say goodbye to someone, who you don't ever want to let go of? But that was to come later. Right now they had a job to do, and with Lisbon's blessing, they set out to bring down the bastards that had done this. One way or another, Lisbon's team would make sure they got their man.

Jane turned to Lisbon, his special 'Teresa Smile' spread wide across his face. The unfixable man had bandaged himself up. He was going to be all that Lisbon needed him to be, for as long as they had. And at this precise moment, her felt that some lighthearted relief was definitely called for.  
><em>'Teresa my dear, i thought they would never leave. Now, where can a man get a good old cup of tea from around here?' <em>Patrick Jane was back, and Lisbon's heart felt a little lighter than it had done before. The end could wait, for now, she was going to have one last evening of fun with the four people she loved most in the entire world.

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><p>Thankyou again for reading. I do hope you enjoyed this chapter.<br>Katie


	8. eight

**Of Many Things  
>Chapter Eight<strong>

Jane entered Lisbon's room with, what she presumed from the glorious smell, a cup of coffee. Except, he held two ornate cups and saucers in his hands; and the last time she checked, that meant tea. And she didn't even want to know where he had found the beautifully painted china from. Here they were, sat in a hospital room, and Jane was concerning himself with crockery. Then again, this was Patrick Jane she was talking about. Eccentricity was simply his way.  
>Seeing the slightly puzzled, albeit adorable, crinkle to Lisbon's forehead, Jane cleared up her confusion over the mysterious china. <em>'If you refuse to drink anything other than that vile mud water, the least you can do is to drink it in style. You are, after all, almost a lady<em>.'  
>Yes! It was indeed wonderful, magnificent, very close to being holy, coffee. Wait, had he just said 'almost a lady'? Teresa Lisbon was unsure of many things in this world, but she was definitely certain that she was all woman. If Patrick Jane wanted a fight, he would get one.<br>_'Almost?' _mock frustration over taking her voice, of course Lisbon knew this was just another little ploy of Jane's to keep her mind off of the ticking clock. One the she greatly appreciated.  
><em>'Almost<em>.' was Jane's reply, a grin tugging at his rugged cheeks.  
><em>'Care to explain yourself Mr. Jane<em>?' a moment of regret sank into Lisbon's heart; how she would desperately miss Jane's gentle teasing. He really did bring a little light into her life, not that she would ever admit to it of course.  
>'<em>Come on my dear, your tomboy ways cannot have escaped your attention. I haven't read it personally, but i do believe that there is a whole section on not carrying more than one fire arm on your person in the National Ladies Handbook.<em>' a self satisfied grin spreading into his tone, and across his entire being.  
>'<em>Touché , touché.' <em>Lisbon pushed all saddening feelings aside, she wasn't about to waste her time with Jane. The little of it that she had left.  
><em>'Now drink your coffee woman, i have big plans for tonight.<em>' and with that, Jane sank into the chair by Lisbon's bed, and enjoyed his expertly made tea.  
>With a raise of her eyebrow, Lisbon too joined Jane in drinking from her china cup, enjoying every moment of it.<p>

'_Truth or dare?'  
>'Jane, what sort of dares did you have in mind? I mean, not to disappoint, but just moving to the bathroom is an almost impossible task.<em>' sometimes she really did wonder what it was like in the mind of Patrick Jane. She imagined it to be an incredibly cluttered place. Wonderfully so.  
><em>'Truth it is then<em>.' Jane beamed at Lisbon, much like a 5 year old who had been promised ice cream for supper.  
>Teresa pondered the offer, what harm could a children's game do? '<em>Truth it is<em>.'  
><em>'Your first kiss? And no backing out, i imagine forfeits would be a little difficult too<em>.'  
>She had definitely spoken too soon. A whole hurricane worth of harm was most probably just around the corner, and heading straight for her room. '<em>Tommy Stelton. I was 12<em>.'  
>Like hell he would let her get away with such an ambiguous answer, no, she would be making a fool of herself in about 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1..<br>'_Details woman! I need details_.' Jane hitched forwards on his chair a little, the slight blush already spreading across Lisbon's delicate features promising for a good story. At Least from where he was sitting.  
>With a deep breathe, and what she feared to be very pink cheeks, Lisbon dove into her past life. Visions of her 12 year old self flashing before her eyes.<br>Lisbon, or Tessy as she was known then, had somehow gotten it into her head that Tommy Stelton was the most perfect boy on the whole entire planet. He sat diagonally in front of her in class, and she was constantly stealing glances at him instead of doing her maths work. Knowing that he didn't feel the same, she would have to come up with a cunning plan to get a kiss off of him. Everybody knew that Tommy was in love with Missy Fink. In fact, all the boys were in love with Missy Fink. Even at 12, the allure of blond pig tails was not missed by the male population. So, putting on her best handwriting, Tessy had written a note to Tommy asking him to come meet her at the swings when the bell rang, and signed 'Missy' in a bubble of hearts at the bottom.  
>When the bell rang, and the time came, she began to regret her decision a little. But then she saw Tommy strolling towards her, and all she wanted was to get him to kiss her. She smiled at him from her place on the swings, and jumped off mid air, landing perfectly by his side. The next part was the most embarrassing of all. Not wanting to wait any longer, she stood on tippy toe and pushed her lips onto his. Tommy, shocked to say the least, immediately pushed her away, and ran off in the opposite direction. It was definitely not her finest hour, but Tessy had kissed her dream man. She just skipped the part when he ran away whenever she told the story.<br>Lisbon's cheeks had gone from dusky pink, to all out fire engine red. She was certainly in for a course the world famous Patrick Jane ridicule and humiliation after that little confession.  
><em>'So you just hoped off the swing, and kissed him?'<br>'Yes.'  
>'You didn't say a word?'<br>'No.'  
>'And he ran away?'<br>'Yes.'  
>'He literally ran?'<br>Yes'  
>'And you told people this story?'<br>'Yes.' _  
>God, Jane was enjoying this far too much for her liking. Not everyone could be as devastatingly handsome, and ever so charming as he was. Sometimes, you just had to jump off the swing.<br>_'Wow_.' Jane was really quite impressed with the 12 year old Lisbon. '_He, my little swinger, was a very silly boy indeed_.' A smile was shared between the both of them, one that said a little more than it first appeared. Perhaps a little embarrassment was a good thing. It seemed to be working it's magic on the beautiful CBI agent, and her pain in the ass consultant. It appeared that truth and dare was just what the doctor had ordered.

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><p>Thankyou again for reading. Katie.<p> 


	9. nine

Heya everyone. Sorry this update has been a little delayed, but we were back at school this week. It means i have less time to write, but i intend to aim for a chapter, or two a week. Please bare with me if i don't manage to.  
>On with the story..<p>

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Nine**

'_Okay my lamb, after than little piece of gold dust, i fear it may be your turn to ask.'  
>'Truth, or dare?' <em>she smiled.  
><em>'Truth.'<em>  
>Lisbon was stuck somewhere between asking him something that she had always wanted to know, or going for sheer embarrassment. She supposed that he did owe her a blush inducing story after the one she had just told, '<em>Your first time<em>?' Lisbon knew it was a little personal, but that never seemed to stop Jane. Besides, everyone knew that these stories were the most embarrassing, didn't they? So with a slight smirk on her face, and a raise of the eyebrow, she waited for Jane to being.  
>Much like Lisbon had been moments before, Patrick Jane was transported to a place that seemed so many moons ago. He had never told anyone this story before, he had never needed to. It wasn't something that he wanted to share with anyone he could; much like most young men did. It was saved for people who he truly trusted, people like Teresa Lisbon.<br>It had been the most magical day of his entire life, and the night promised to be every bit as so. Angela Ruskin was looking up at him with lust filled eyes, standing mere inches away from him, hot breath tickling against his neck. And as he reached back to undo the first clasp of the beautiful ivory wedding gown that the she wore, his whole life seemed to fall into place. He had always believe that sex was far more than just a physical act between two people. It was something that should be shared between two people who were undoubtedly in love with each other. It was all the emotions that they felt, and all wonders that the future held. It wasn't by accident that his first time was to be his wedding night. Patrick, although not a religious man, believed that waiting until you were married was a tradition that should be upheld. When he met Angela he had felt an instinctive pull towards her. Not only because of the the beautiful blond hair that cascaded down her back, the way her smile could brighten up even the darkest of days, nor the mischievous sparkle to her hazel eyes. It was the way in which she spoke every word with such conviction. Like she was certain of everything she thought, and felt. They spent their first day together discussing all that they could. From their favourite ice cream, to the morals in which they lived by. It had been, by many standards, a whirl wind romance. But to them it felt like they had know each other for a thousand years. Within six months they had planned a big white wedding, not caring that their families felt it was too fast. It was what they wanted. The day had been all that they had wanted, and now they would celebrate in their own personal way. As the bare skin of Angela's breasts, met that of Patrick's chest, everything else melted away. They had each other, and they would do until their dying day.  
>A strangled laugh escaped Jane's lips as he relayed the last sentiment to Lisbon; his beautiful wife's dying day was an all too harsh reality.<br>Tears began to form in Lisbon's eyes. Astounded by his naked honesty, and the romance of his story. She had been looking for embarrassment, but had found so much more. '_Thank you, Patrick_.'  
>'<em>For what<em>?' He was confused by her question, but warmed by the expression on her pale face.  
><em>'For trusting me like that. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to talk of<em>.' Lisbon was feeling guilty for making him share so much of himself.  
><em>'I have always trusted you Teresa<em>.'  
>Lisbon suddenly realised something that she had missed before; she trusted Patrick Jane with all of her heart. Of Course, professionally, he couldn't be trusted to stay out of trouble for more than five seconds. Personally though, he was perhaps the only man she had ever truly believed in enough to trust entirely. Lisbon, for a reason unknown to herself, would forever lay her life in his hands, and trust that he would not break it. He was a wonderful man. A wonderful man who lived a life of pain, and grief, and heartbreak. Yet, here he was, doing all that he could to make her final hours as painless as they could be. To leave her with the best memories that he could.<p>

Lisbon was broken from her reverie by the gentle pressure of Patrick Jane sitting on her hospital bed. She used some of her ever decreasing strength the shift herself to the side of the mattress, making room for him to fit beside her. At first she was afraid of the warmth that he brought, shying away from his strong frame, but then she cam to realise that it was what she had hoped for since he had first sat down beside her, in that cold, sterile chair. Human contact. She allowed his arm to snake around her shoulders, and found her head resting on his warm chest. He absent mindedly drew small circles across her spine. She breathed in deep. The scent that was undeniably Jane sinking into her senses, and radiating throughout her entire body. This, she thought, was what home felt like. She just wished that she had realised it sooner. Realised before it was too late. Realised before her very own dying day.

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><p>Thankyou again for reading, and to everyone who has reviewd. I do try to reply to them, but my computer isn't always a fan of doing so.<br>Katie.


	10. ten

**Of Many Things  
>Chapter Ten<strong>

With the warmth they shared as a reminder that at this moment, even if it wouldn't last, they were both still alive. They had to carry on living. It was no more complicated than it had been when they had first awoken this morning; ready to face the monotonous day ahead. They were still those two people. That hadn't changed. They were just two people, playing a game of truth or dare.  
>'<em>Truth.'<em>  
><em>'Lisbon! you are supposed to let me ask you first..<em>' Jane whined like a small girl; most probably with pig tails, Lisbon thought. The mental image, although leaving her a little disturbed, causing a grin to tug at her lips. Luckily for Jane, he couldn't see her expression, and was saved from enquiring into it.  
><em>'I'm waiting<em>.'  
><em>'Goodness, aren't you the bossy one tonight! Truth or Dare my little lion cub?<em>'  
>Teresa would forever be baffled by the names that Jane came up for her, which was something she really rather enjoyed. '<em>Truth<em>.'  
>Jane wasn't sure why, but he suddenly needed to ask something of Teresa. Something that would most definitely change the emotions of their night. An uncertainty that was burning through him.'<em>Are you scared<em>?'  
>Lisbon looked up at Jane, shocked by his words; by their abruptness,but he was never one to cut corners. She supposed that she should be glad of it, that he hadn't changed, she thought that it perhaps meant he truly cared. But who was she to go around thinking things like that. He was the mentalist, not her.<br>Her breath almost failing her, she decided that it was the time for truth; it was literally now or never. _'Of many things, yes, but not of this_.' She saw her words hit him. She had done the impossible. She had shocked Patrick Jane.  
>His eyes began to water as he looked deep into her own. They had lost their sparkle. That forest green, normally so deep with passion, was slowly being washed away. Replaced by something altogether more grey. He didn't understand her answer. How could she not fear this? How could she seem so ok about it all? She was dying. She was dying, and she wasn't scared. Was there anything this woman feared? Sometimes he thought that perhaps there wasn't. Perhaps she just didn't have that emotion within her. But she had just admitted that she was scared of many things, and he felt an odd kind of responsibility to take away her fear, the least she deserved was to die knowing that nothing in her world could harm her. No one should die with fear in their heart.<br>_'You don't understand, do you_?'  
>Jane thought about her brutal honesty, and then about his own. No. He really didn't understand. How could there be no fear in death? Wasn't it the one thing that made us all the same. That made us human.<br>_'I'm not scared of dying; i'm scared of not living. That my life will end, without ever really beginning. Even when i was a little girl, all i ever wanted was to be great. For the world to be a better place because of me. Because of what i have done. I thought i had time. I thought i had time to find greatness. I don't Patrick, i don't have any time left. All that is ahead of me is pain, and suffering, and grief. That is my legacy. So no, i am not afraid of this. I am angry. I am pissed off. But i am not afraid. I have refused for many years to live with any fear, and i will certainly not die in it_.' Hot, fierce tears were flowing freely from Lisbon's sea green eyes, unable to keep her well built guards up any longer. They fell into salty pools, and onto the safe shoulders of Patrick Jane. She knew then that he was the only man she would ever allow to her like this. So free from everything. The naked truth. The dark realisation. Teresa lay in the arms of only man that she had ever loved, something she had always been too afraid to admit, and vowed to show him before her time was up. Maybe it would lead to rejection, heartache, insufferable pain. But maybe, just maybe, it would lead her to greatness.  
>Jane, instinctively sensing that Lisbon was lost to her own thoughts, let her stay there. Gently stroking the soft skin of her back, left bare by her hospital gown. He had no words to stop her tears. He had no need for them either. This free fall of emotion, it was a good thing. It would make saying goodbye easier on her. No unfinished business to attend to. No feelings to be set free.<p>

_'Truth or Dare_?' Lisbon, through watery eyes, looked up into the face of Patrick Jane; every ounce of her being willing him to pick dare. She had a plan for both choices, but the later would prove to her once and for all if Jane loved her back. Heartache, or greatness? It was all down to the actions of one man. One beautifully broken man.  
>'<em>Dare<em>.' There had been something in her eyes that made Jane choose dare. Something her couldn't quite figure out, but trusted all the same. This was Lisbon after all, he would lay down on the train tracks for her.  
><em>'Kiss me<em>.'

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><p>I guess a little bit of a cliff hanger to end, but it will all be resolved soon.<br>Thankyou again for reading. And to all those who left a review of the last chapter.  
>Katie.<p> 


	11. eleven

**Of Many Things  
>Chapter Eleven<strong>

A heavy air hung between them; filled with hope, and expectation, and passion. Every single ounce of Patrick Jane was screaming at him to kiss the beautiful woman, who fitted so perfectly by his side. Not for one second doubting himself, Jane leaned close to Lisbon, cupping her soft cheek in his hands. Their lips met, ever so gently, and the world slipped into a perfect harmony. The incessant beeping of machines was drowned out, the smell of death disappeared. All that mattered was the moment they shared. A kiss so dripping with emotions that it could very well have drowned them both, then and there. Something which wouldn't of bothered either of them very much at all. What a wonderful way that would be to die. Happiness so powerful that it couldn't be contained on this earth. On this life time.  
>As the pulled apart, Lisbon's broken body crying out for oxygen even more so than it would be under normal circumstances. Not that there was anything normal about the kiss that she had just shared with her blond haired consultant. No, nothing normal at all.<br>_'Come on a date with me?_' Jane all but whispered; not wanting to break the wonderful atmosphere in which they were living.  
><em>'Patrick, i'm dying.<em>' Tears rushed to the surface of Teresa's blood shot eyes. Still, atleast in Jane's opinion, as beautiful as the trpoical seas.  
><em>'I know Teresa, do you think that i could forget something like that? But i see now what i have been too blind to see for years; you have been my saving grace. Not just in keep me alive, because lord knows i was barely capable of doing so when we first met, but in making me feel again. You showed me what friendship meant. That i was worthy of another human's emotions. I thought that was all it was; friendship. But it's not. I love you Teresa Lisbon, and i think i could quite possibly be in love with you. And this is the worst timing that there has ever been, but it doesn't matter. A single night of being love, is a million times better than never being in love at all. I believe that you love me too. That you are just too scared of admitting it because you are strong, and independant, and you don't need anybody to protect you. That isn't what i am offering you; i am offering you my heart, and my soul, and all that i am. So, my dear, come on a date with me.<em>' The last a statement, rather than a question.  
><em>'I don't want to be scared anymore Jane, i don't want to hide from you<em>,' Tears freely flowed from both of their eyes, as Lisbon reached up and placed a heartbreaking kiss on Jane's lips.  
><em>'Does this mean you will come?'<em>  
><em>'I'd like nothing more in the world, but, i don't understand how we can? Look at me Jane. Look at me! I'm nothing but a collection of tubes and wires. I don't even have a heart. I am the girl with empty veins<em>,' Anger was building up inside of Lisbon with every word that she spoke, _'I can't leave this damn room. I'm like a robot that they haven't quite finished. Sure, they have given me have given me a mind. They just left out the body. Tell me Patrick, how do you suppose we go on a date?_'  
>Jane clung on to Lisbon's trembling frame as tears wracked through her entire body. He held her tighter than he had ever done so before. As if he could send his life force into her. Make her able to breath again. Ofcourse, he knew how silly this sounded, but atleast she knew he was there. Knew that he cared. <em>'When have i ever let you down before? Cinderella got her ball, and you shall get your date<em>.' Jane's tone was decidedly lighter than it had been mere seconds ago. And as the two lay there; body's intertwined, Jane set his mind to planning the most wonderful date he could. One that he hoped would counteract any pain that Lisbon had faced in her life. It would be a last goodbye, to a world that would miss her desperately.

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><p>I know this one is a little short, but i didn't want to add anymore until the next chapter. The rest of the team will be back in the next; i know they have been absent recently.<br>Also, a lot of people have asked, and i am still unable to reply to comments on my lap top (it just doesn't like the reply page.. but i intend to do so as soon as i can) there will be no miracle cure for Lisbon. I will always been a lover of Jisbon, but for this story to work out how i intended, Lisbon does have to die. Please stick with me though, it won't be all doom and gloom. I am not aiming for a depression story.  
>I hope you are still enjoying it. Thankyou again.<br>Katie


	12. twelve

**Of Many Things  
>Chapter Twelve<strong>

Cho, Rigsby, and VanPelt were stood outside the same window as they had been hours before. A morbid sense of familiarity growing over them. It would never feel right to be stood there; looking at the broken body of Teresa Lisbon, but it was becoming normality. The sight less of a shock. The hope all but gone. This time though, her body looked more complete than it had done before. Like life wasn't such a distant memory. Curled up in the arms of Patrick Jane. Raven hair met sandy blond. His arms tight and protecting around her. Jane and Lisbon. It was something that their colleagues had always expected to happen. An inevitable destination. A path they were destined to take.

None of the three wanted to disrupt the scene before them. Peace seemed to have washed over both their boss, and consultant. But they had news that needed to be shared. Information that Lisbon was craving. Cho, gaining confidence in his new role as the head of their team; at least professionally, took the lead. He knocked gently on the door; not wanting to startle the pair too much. Waiting for his invite to enter.  
>Jane was faintly aware that he was being watched; unsurprised to see Cho at the door to Lisbon's hospital room, he had suspected that the team would arrive back soon. He motioned to his friend to wait a second, and Cho knew that Jane would have to awaken Lisbon. A cocktail of pain medication, and complete exhaustion had allowed sleep to envelop her far sooner than she would ever admit. <em>'Teresa.., Teresa<em>,' Jane whispered ever so quietly into her ear, shaking her arm a little, _'Tessy my dear, you have visitors_.' Lisbon's eyes fluttered open briefly, before she clamped them tight against the harsh light. Jane couldn't help but think how adorable she looked, and, acting upon impulse, gently pecked her on the lips. The beautifully chaste kiss encouraging Lisbon to awaken from her sleep ridden state. Not realising that her team were watching, Teresa leant into Jane, intending to deepen their kiss a little. She was a little put off when instead she was met by the warm hands of Patrick Jane, instead of his kiss. _'Now, now my honey badger, we wouldn't want to put on a premature show for your visitors_.' Lisbon was confused to say the least, until she saw the wide eyed expressions of her team, that was. Jane, expecting Lisbon to kick him off of her bed now that they had company, began to move before she had a chance. _'Stay with me? I.. i like you being so close_.' A deep blush was already creeping up her cheeks, but she need Patrick too much to care. Jane, warmed by her sentiment, tucked her even more so under his arm. He beamed up at the three agents, who had been waiting patiently outside, effectively giving them permission to come in.

Jane and Lisbon waited with baited breath; desperately wanting to know what had come of the lead. Cho, in a moment of total freedom, smiled at his beloved friends, _'We got them_.'  
>Lisbon felt like she could breath again; a great pressure lifting from her chest. <em>'Who... who did it<em>?' she asked, not sure if she really wanted to know.  
>Cho, turning back into the stoic agent that he was so well known as, took it upon himself to relay all that they knew to Lisbon; fearing the others might not be able to hold it together long enough to do so. God knew he was struggling. <em>'Two brothers; James and Mathew Cookson. Thought that shooting down innocent members of the law enforcement would revenge the death of their father, who had been shot 8 months ago. The bullets matched an outstanding case, and finger prints on the casings matched to Mathew. He soon folded on his elder brother when we took him in; family loyalty not as strong as they made out<em>.'  
>Lisbon was overwhelmed. Of course, she had wanted to know. Needed to before she could be at peace. But to hear it, then and there, the names of the men; if you could even call them that, responsible for her death. A death that hadn't really seemed real until now. Everything began to feel too final. Too close to the end. Wanting to be strong, but her entire body screaming out weakness, hot salty tears began to tumble down her cheeks. <em>'Why me?' <em>Lisbon's words were chocked with tears.  
>Cho had been dreading this question, of course he knew she would want to know, but the truth was a vile one. One that he, nor Rigsby or VanPelt, would ever forget. One that Lisbon should be protected from. The husky drawl of James Cookson ringing out in Cho's ears as he interrogated him; <em>'Why her? Why your special little boss? I'll tell you why. An ass that fine shouldn't be wasted on the law. That's a fiery little one you have there. Needed taking down a peg or two. Teach her to walk around like she was better than me. I bet the bitch didn't even see me watching her. Following her to the crappy little store. Allowing her to do the shopping. Waiting for my chance. My time. And then, bang! No more Agent<em>.' A wicked laugh had followed his statement, and Cho felt nothing but disgust towards the man sat across from him. No, Lisbon didn't need to hear that. Hear the ramblings of an animal. She deserved one last hope for humanity. _'Being an agent was all that they needed. These were delusional men Lisbon. Anyone with a badge was a target for them_.' Cho's steady voice not giving away his lie. Rigsby and VanPelt catching on as soon as he had begun to speak; them too believing that Lisbon was better off not knowing the truth. Creatures like James Cookson didn't deserve a voice; much less their words repeated.  
>Lisbon wasn't sure of what to say. Was there really anything that she could say? Yes, there was. If not about the brothers that had selfishly decided when she would die, then in appreciation for those that she loved. <em>'Thank you.' <em>was all that she needed. It saying more than she could speak if had a thousand years.

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><p>Sorry for the longer time it took me to update this time; school gets it the way a little. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. There will be more tomorrow, if i get a chance :)<br>Thank you for reading,  
>Katie<p> 


	13. thirteen

**Of Many Things  
>Chapter Thirteen<strong>

Wayne Rigsby was in a position that he had never expected to find himself. A thought so terrible it would never had entered his mind. Saying goodbye. It was something people did everyday. It was something he did everyday. But, unlike tonight, he had always known that come the next day he would see the person again. Work with them. Eat pizza with them. Pass them by as he crossed the road. This was different. This was final. He didn't know how to do this. There were so many things that he wanted to say. Emotions he wanted to share. But which were the important ones? He had never been a man of great words; even less so in times of pain.

_'She loves you, you know.'  
>'Who?' <em>  
>Teresa had decided that saying goodbye meant a lot more than most people would ever know. She needed, for her own piece of mind as much as anything, to leave the world with a little part of her. To each of her wonderfully brave agents she would give a truth that she had always been too scared to admit. Tell them something that they needed to hear; but she was once afraid to say. There was no fear left in her life, because there was no life either. It was heartbreaking, but it also brought her a kind of freedom. The courage she had always lacked to just speak her mind. Nothing could hurt her now. Nothing bad could come of it. And she believed that it might just be a way to the greatness she had always desired. To make another life better, even if she was losing hers. A final act of hopefulness. A sign that the world isn't as terrible a place as many people believe it to be.<br>'Wayne, you know who i am speaking of. I see the way you look at her, and i see the way she looks back. Grace VanPelt is head over heels in love with you. She just fears for her career; something i know of all too well.' The last part said with a deep sadness.  
><em>'I.. i, she is.. we're just friends<em>.' Rigsby was left a little speechless by Lisbon. She seemed a completely different person to the guarded agent that had left work yesterday evening. Ever great, but now speaking with such freedom.  
><em>'Friends don't look at each other the way you two do. I used to think it was dangerous; feeling like that in the work place. Now i see how wonderful it can be. Don't miss out on the opportunity to be with the woman you love because of stupid office legislation. Make sure she knows how you feel.'<br>'I can't. She doesn't love me.'_ It was true, Wayne Rigsby loved his auburn haired colleague with all of his heart; but a beautiful woman like her would never love a bumbling fool like him.  
><em>'Trust me on this one. Ask her out on a date. Kiss her in the break room. Wayne, it doesn't matter how you do it, just make sure she knows how you feel. Before it's too late.' Rigsby could see right into the soul of Lisbon<em>. Something that scared him a little. _'The worst that can happen is you go out for coffee, and realise that you aren't meant to be._ _Alternatively, you could get all that you have ever wanted.' _And he feared that she was staring right back into his. A look of joint agreement passed between them; Rigsby vowing to act upon the conversation he'd held with his boss on her last ever night. Maybe that same day. Maybe next year. He would find the time. The right time. To show Grace just how much she meant to him.

It was funny, they both knew that this would be the last time they would ever see each other. Something that made the embrace shared between Teresa and Wayne an incredibly difficult one to break. A worded goodbye was never to be expected between them. The tight hug all that they needed. Rigsby would never forget the woman in his arms. A faithful friend for so many years. So much more than just a boss to him. Tears running freely down both their faces; now was not the time for hiding such things. As they pulled apart a little, he placed a kiss on her cheek. Teresa nodded her head, a sad smile on her lips. A sign that it was time. That nothing else need be said. No actions need be done. It was time for her to say goodbye to the man who she regarded much like a younger brother. A big softy once you got to know him. Just as his hand reached the door she spoke up, _'Don't wait too long.' _Both knowing that she again spoke of his future love. And as he stood in her doorway, not knowing how to feel, he turned for a final time towards her. _'I won't.'_

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><p>Thank you for reading. I hope i am still doing a good job.<br>Katie


	14. fourteen

Heya everyone! Sorry this has taken me a little longer than normal to update, but school has been rather hetic this week. But i only have a month left of school.. so i'm not complaining, as i am sure to miss it when it's over. Talking of which, good luck to everyone who is taking their exams this year.

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Fourteen**

As Wayne Rigsby came to sit in one of the greying plastic chairs that lined the corridor they were increasingly beginning to hate, the woman he vowed to love with his whole heart entered their boss' room. Grace VanPelt had been informed by Jane of his plan to take Lisbon on a date. Or, well, bring the date to her. Being ever romantic she had immediately agreed to help him with anything that he may need to make his plan as perfect as it should be.

Grace sat a little nervously beside Teresa's bed, fidgeting with the zip of the toiletry bag she carried, not really knowing where to begin. That was however was solved when Lisbon looked quizzically down at the bag, whose zip was now being tugged back and forth a little. Noticing the glance, VanPelt immediately stopped her hands from pulling at the crimson material. 'Jane told me about his plan, for you and him i mean. And i thought that maybe a little hair and make-up was in order?' she feared her boss might take her gesture the wrong way, but was relieved to see the smile spread across the elder woman's face. Lisbon picked up the hand mirror that was on the table beside the bed; seeing her reflection for the first time since she had entered the hospital. Her smile faded as quickly as it had come. Tears stung her usually bright eyes; now washed out and tired. He skin unhealthily pale. Her hair hung limply by her face. She didn't want anyone to see her like this, but especially not Jane. She wanted for him to think of her as beautiful, not as some deathly creature. As if reading her mind, Grace placed her hand upon Lisbon and squeezed it tight, 'You will always be beautiful to us.' The sentiment meaning a lot to Lisbon. 'all we need is a little blush for your cheeks.' The young agent smiled brightly, and began to dig about in the bag.

Grace was with sat crossed legs in front of Lisbon, who mirrored her position. Make-up spread about the bed. Teresa had never been all that girly; she had no time for it when she was a teenager, her brothers were all she cared about. Keeping them safe. Appearance had seemed rather meaningless to her. Now she liked to look professional rather than pretty, after all, the CBI hardly screamed out beauty pageant. But it felt nice, being pampered a little. Even if the truth behind the powder was an altogether uglier one. 'Thank you, for doing this Grace. I don't think i could have faced looking at my reflection for long enough to do it myself.' a little bitterness coming through the gratitude.

VanPelt looked into the eyes of her boss, seeing a sadness in them that she had never before, 'I wish i could do more.' the notion hanging in the air as Grace finished with the last details. Handing Lisbon back the mirror once she was done.

It was an almost complete transformation. Almost. If not for the darkness that had taken over Lisbon's eyes, you would believe she was preparing for a normal date. Not that there was anything normal about Lisbon going on a date. Her complexion, ever pale, but now glowing a little. Rouged cheeks adding to the healthy light. Her hair pulled up into a messy bun; hiding the lifeless hang it had adopted. She looked almost like the woman who had left her apartment for work that morning. Nothing could be hidden from her eyes though. Even as a little girl they had been her biggest tell. Emotion flowed through them whether she wanted it to or not. Looking into them she could literally see death staring back at her. Something which she was trying desperately not to think about. Not yet. Right now, she was just a girl, getting ready to go on a date with a man she was sure she loved.

'I'm sorry that i ever doubted you Grace. Looking back now i can't believe that i ever underestimated your abilities to make a truly excellent agent. You'll go far, so don't you ever let anyone make you think different. It's a hard world for such a beautiful woman to be in; some men just can't see past the allure of the female form. They don't like to think about the fact that you can take them down if ever you need to. But you're strong, and independent, and you will be a great success for the CBI. Don't let the job ruin you though; make sure that you have a life outside of it. A career is a wonderful thing, but it can't ever replace the people that we love.'

Grace was warmed by the words of her boss; she had always hoped that she would one day impress Lisbon. 'You have taught me well.' And she had. Grace looked up to Lisbon more than anyone else. But she also saw how work had consumed the raven haired woman. How she ignored her blatant love of their consultant for so many years. And now, how that would be her one regret. She would be a damn good agent, but she would be a great lover too. As silly as it sounded, she had always dreamed of a big family and a pretty little house in the country. Something which she was determined to get, and secretly had a good idea of whom it would happen with.

Both women were a little lost in their own private day dreams; fantasies of the men they loved. Of men that sat and stared at the blank walls just the other side of the curtained window. Lisbon of ending a relationship that never had chance to grow. VanPelt of a future she refused to let slip away from her.

Grace was shocked from her own mind by the haunting sobs that escaped Lisbon's tired chest. As she lent across to comfort the woman she considered a friend, Lisbon collapsed into her arms and allowed the sadness to wash over her. 'I'll never get a chance to love him.' Her voice was choked by tears.

Grace made Lisbon look at her; holding her face firmly in her hands. 'Yes you will. You have this chance Teresa. I know it isn't long, but then an eternity would still seem too short. You just make sure that he knows how you feel. You tell him, and you show him, and you keep doing so until he understands. Time doesn't matter all that much; it's what we do in it that leaves memories. You'll get your chance; don't fill it all with sadness. Give Jane something wonderful to remember you by' It seemed to Lisbon that Grace VanPelt was wise beyond her years. That the young woman talked with the conviction of a thousand years.

And with nothing more to the said, Lisbon pulled the woman she considered more like family than a subordinate into a tight grasp. An embrace that was filled with gratitude for everything that Grace had done for her that night. 'I'm going to miss you Gracie.'

'I'm going to miss you too Tess.' perhaps more than either woman was prepared for.

And as they shared the last hug of a great friendship, Lisbon realised that it wasn't just Jane who she had missed out on. It was her whole life. She had always been so stubborn. So guarded. It took this to make her realise something that she should have always known, but was too sure of her independence to notice. Love.

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><p>Thank you for reading. I do hope that you are still enjoying it.<br>Katie


	15. fifteen

First and foremost, i am so sorry this has taken me so long to update, but exams and revision have taken pride of place for the past month or so. I only have one left now, and have officially attended my last day of school, so i will pick up the slack a little.

I also have a couple more ideas for stories floating about, but i intend to finish this one first.

Secondly, :O the season three finale was magic ! I am so proud of Jane, i believe he did the right thing. It was the most wonderful two hours of tv ever created. Bruno Heller, i take me hat off to you; you are simple amazing at what you do.

Yes, yes.. i'm getting on with the story now. Thank you for your continued reading, i will try not to disappoint...

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Fifteen **

As Cho left behind the timeless world of the hospital corridor, he caught a glance at a love he knew would last for ever. Grace VanPelt was tucked tightly into the strong arms of Wayne Rigsby; both emotionally exhausted from their tear streaked goodbyes. He tried desperately to keep up the stoic walls that he always had, but feared this was going to be a conversation that ripped them down. Lisbon deserved that; to know just how much she meant to him.

_'Hey boss'_

'_You're the boss now Cho'_, Lisbon couldn't help but smile at her dear friend; he would be a wonderful leader for their team.

_'You know you'll always be our boss, no one could ever replace you_.' Cho seated himself beside her bed, not quite sure of what to say if he was completely honest.

'_Kimball, i have the greatest faith in you. I can't think of a single soul on this entire earth that could do a better job than you will_.' The sentiment flowed through Lisbon's features.

And then something that none of the team had ever seen happen before played out in front of her, and shocked Lisbon to her core; tears formed in her ever controlled agents eyes, and he seemed at a loss for words. She was ready to break, completely exhausted, and her mind was becoming a little fuzzy with medication, but she knew she had to stay strong. At least, long enough to reassure the that she had considered to be family for so many years, that he was doing a good job. Taking his hands in her own, she made sure he was listening to her, _'Cho, do not doubt yourself for a second. You are the best agent i have ever had the pleasure of working with. You have all that it takes to make a great leader. What you did for me today; it means more than you will ever know. I would give it all for a chance at life, but knowing that the monsters that did this are behind bars, it makes it easier. I won't ever understand why it had to happen to me. Why i have to die. But i can accept it now. You gave me that Kim, you gave me peace. I trust you wholeheartedly with our team. They respect you, and they'll all be looking to you for guidance. Show them how wonderful you are. Show them all that you have shown me_.' It was only when Teresa stopped speaking that she felt the warm splash of tears against her icy skin. She didn't quite know why she way crying, but it didn't really matter. Now was not the time for hiding emotions. If her body needed tears, then she intended to let them fall.

'_Thank you, Teresa, for everything that you have taught me, and for being all that you are.' _Cho, now more himself again, had never been more grateful for another being's words in all his life. Lisbon was right, the team would look to him. He knew that his grief would be strong enough to swallow him whole, but he also knew that he couldn't let that happen. If not for himself, then for Grace, and Wayne, and Patrick. They needed him, much like he needed Lisbon. It wasn't fair; none of this was fair, but he would make the best of it that he could. Honour her memory through his work at the CBI. Keep up their team's outstanding reputation; even in the face of an unbearable loss.

And as Cho kissed Lisbon's ghostly cheek; holding her a little tighter than ever before, he vowed to make her proud. To never let anyone forget the wonderful woman that she was; not just as an agent, but as a human being.

Cho turned before leaving her room, _'It has been an honour, Agent Lisbon_.' A look shared between the two showed the love that they had for each other; they had helped each other to grow into the people they were now. With a professional nod of her head, and a heartfelt smile, Teresa Lisbon wished a last goodbye to her best friend. One that shattered her already failing heart.

**Thank you again for reading, and for sticking with me, despite the long wait. Hopefully i will get chapter 16 up within the next couple of days. I will try to fit some writing around my history revision :)  
>Please leave a comment if you wish.<br>Katie x **


	16. sixteen

Heya everyone, i promised i would update sooner this time. I suddenly had the need to bring back Dr. Jenson into the story a little more; i love anything to do with medicine, so she is a guilty pleasure for me to write. Not that i really know much about real life medicine, but i do hope to study it at university. I have a few years left before that though.  
>Anyway.. on to the story... <p>

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><p><strong>Of Many Things Chapter Sixteen<strong>

Dr. Jenson had watched as each agent left their beloved boss' room; tears that had been held back with all their will, cascaded down as soon as the door was closed. It was a great show of their love she thought; that even when faced with one of the greatest losses they had ever faced, they remained strong. They let emotions show, but the last second Teresa Lisbon saw of them was a smiling reassurance. Letting her know how terribly missed she would be, but also that they would survive. That she wasn't destroying them. They were allowing Teresa to die, without fear of crippling the world that the she left behind. Dr. Jenson couldn't help but admire the wonderful group of agents, who appeared to be a family more than anyone she had met in a very long time, that lined the ghastly hospital corridor.

Dr. Jenson had gone to check on Lisbon a short while after she and Agent Cho had spoken their final words to each other. Lisbon had finally let the pull of the medication take over. She had fought so hard to stay awake, but Jane had been gone so long. She knew it was silly, but she was terrified of simply not waking up again, and had been fighting against her desperate need for slumber. Her doctor had promised her that sleep was normal; it didn't mean death. She could do everything that a real living person could, for as long as those machines were kept on. She knew that she would wake up again. But she was just so damn terrified that she wouldn't get to see Jane again. See his beautiful crystal eyes. Run her fingers through his golden curls. Breathe in all of him that she possibly could. It was something she had wanted for so long. To just give into her heart and her mind, both of which were screaming out for Patrick Jane. For a chance to love him, and be loved in return. If only she had acted sooner, maybe she could have gotten all that she had ever wanted before it was too late. They were only at the very beginning of their story, and yet her's had already reached it's end. Tears escaped from her delicately closed eyes, and left charcoal streaks down her porcelain cheeks.

Lisbon awoke quite suddenly, aware that there was someone else in her room, _'Jane?' _she called out, hoping that he had finally returned. That she would get to love him; if only for one night. But when she looked up, it was a completely different shade of blue staring back at her. 'I'_m sorry, Dr. Jenson, i thought.. i thought that Patrick was back.' _Lisbon was a little embarrassed by her hazy state.

Dr. Jenson smiled warmly at her patient, seeing the almost invisible longing of Teresa's eyes, '_Not to worry Teresa, i just came to see how you were doing. Is there anything that i can do for you?'_

It took all of Lisbon's strength to not break down in front of the young doctor, who had already done more for her than most would ever even dream of doing. But what she truly wanted was a miracle, even if she didn't quite believe in them. She wanted to live for another 60 years. She wanted to wake up next to the sleep filled smile of Patrick Jane. She wanted to attend the wedding of Grace VanPelt and Wayne Rigsby. She wanted to see the award that Kimball Cho would win for bravery and excellent service. She wanted to hold her tiny baby girl with raven hair and sea blue eyes. She wanted it all. She wanted life.

_'Teresa?' _Dr. Jenson could barely control the emotion of her ever stoic voice. There was something special about the woman that lay dying in this very room, something very special indeed.

Lisbon realised that she still needed to answer Dr. Jenson, _'Uh.. if it isn't too much trouble.. urrm.. could you make sure my team get this when they.. when i'm...' _

_'Of course_,' smiled Dr. Jenson, realising that neither her nor Lisbon would be able to control themselves if she had finished that sentence. The doctor took the ivory envelope from Lisbon's hand, a slight curiosity knotting across her features.

_'Letters to my team, and one for my brothers too_,' Lisbon pointed to the envelope, '_and instructions i suppose, for what to do once this is all over_.' her voice was a little shaky.

Dr. Jenson smiled reassuringly at Teresa, _'I'll make sure they get them_.'

Just as Lisbon was about to thank her doctor once more, the unmistakable beeping of a pager rang out. '_Sorry, i have to answer this. I will be back to check on you later_.'

Before the young woman left her room, Lisbon spoke up again, '_Thank you Dr. Jenson, for everything.'_

_'It's an honour,' _she replied, _'and please, call me Tibby_.'

Lisbon smiled brightly at her doctor; it was odd, but she had felt an instant liking for her. Perhaps it was all that she had done for Lisbon, but it felt a little more. Dr. Jenson was one of the good guys, and in Lisbon's line of work, she didn't get to meet many of them. _'Thank you, Tibby.' _

A moment later, Lisbon was alone once again, but this time she welcomed the sleep that filled her mind. She knew what later would mean. The most wonderful memories ever imaginable, would ultimately lead to the most devastating fate that you could be faced with. Teresa Lisbon would in mere hours kiss the love of her life, and in doing so say a goodnight that would last an eternity. She wasn't ready yet. She had so much that she wanted to tell him. So much that she needed to show him. Sleep would be her escape; a fleeting moment of peace before her final hour began.

**Thank you for reading.  
>I know that this is supposed to be a Jisbon story, but i can't help but make sure everyone get's to say their goodbyes to Lisbon. Jane will be back in the next chapter, and it will just be those two for a while after that. Please stick with me.<br>Leave a review; good or bad.. i just like to know that someone is still reading what i write.  
>I will update soon, Katie x <strong>


	17. seventeen

Heya everyone. It was officially my last ever day of school today. I thought i would be sad, but i'm waiting until prom for that. I now have 3 months of summer holidays, so i hope to be able to write more often than i have been able to as of late.

Before we get onto the next chapter, i would just like to say thank you for all the lovely reviews you have left me; they really do make my day. A special thank you goes to** xXCoral-RoseXx, Amri91,** and** Jisbon4ever **for sticking with my story throughout the chapters.

Now, onto the next chapter. Here lies the long awaited return of Patrick Jane. I hope it does not disappoint.

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>****Chapter Seventeen**

When Jane had entered Lisbon's room for the first time in almost five hours, he was terribly shocked by the change in her appearance. Her skin was a sickly pale shade underneath the light make up that Grace has expertly applied. Her hair, it's uncontrollability usually a great source of his amusement to him, had slipped out of the bun it was earlier twisted into, and now hung limp about the off-white pillow. The machines connected to a whole array of pipes, tubes, and wires that came from Lisbon made her small frame all but disappear beneath them. It was not a sight that Jane had ever wanted to see, nor one that he would ever forget. The only woman, other than his beloved late wife, that he would ever love lay broken and crumbling before his very eyes. Maybe it was the deep slumber that she was in; too close to the reality that would be her's that very night. Maybe it was the ever increasing weakness that devoured her. Whatever the exact reason, Jane wasn't quite sure, all he knew was that Lisbon didn't really look like Lisbon anymore. She was, to him at least, the most breathtakingly beautiful woman in the entire world, and she would always remain that way. But, she had lost that sparkle. The unnamable essence of Teresa Lisbon that made every woman on earth pale in comparison. He just hoped that he would be able to return it by the end of their night. To see her in the full wonder of life once again.

Lisbon was acutely aware that there was, yet again, someone else in her room, and this time she was certain it was Patrick Jane. The unmistakable tread of his shoes echoed out across the room. The scent of his sun kissed skin, mixed with something she couldn't quite place invaded her senses. He was clattering about in that way one does when trying not to make any noise. It's like the mere thought of being quiet is enough to make the simplest of tasks ten decibels louder than they usually are. Not that she minded of course, Teresa Lisbon had been waiting for what felt like years for the very man that was now clumsily rummaging about by her bedside to return. She shifted a little, secretly hoping that he would notice she was awake and turn his attention to her. And being Patrick Jane, the moment she shifted an inch he knew that she had returned to the waking world. Just as her eyes began to peel open she felt the glorious sensation of warm lips being gently pressed against hers. She looked sleepily into the blue eyes of Patrick Jane and felt more whole than she had perhaps in her entire life. Nothing would prevent her from joining in on the date that he had planned for them that night, not even her impending end.  
><em>'It's about time<em>,' she whispered against his lips, 'i_ thought you weren't going to make it in time.'  
><em>He pulled back from her lips, and cupped her delicate face in his hands, '_Don't ever think that i won't make it in time. I wouldn't miss tonight for the world.'  
><em>Lisbon could feel her breath hitch in her throat; never in her life had a man said such beautiful things to her. She wasn't ever the girl that men fell in love with. She was the one they leered at as she passed them in the street. The one they scoffed at for being a cop. The girl in high school who heard her name whispered a hundred times a day, and knew that not one was anything but mean and vindictive. And yet, here she was, staring straight into the soul of a man who spoke the most loving words she had ever heard, and would only get a single night in his arms. It was a bitter sweet reality, and she was sure it was one that would break both of their hearts by the end of her final breath.

Lisbon was again sat tight against Jane's chest, her head listening to the strong beat of his human heart. His hands drawing love hearts and flowers across her shoulder blades. She itched away from him slightly, just enough to see into his eyes, '_So Mr. Jane, tell me about this wonderful date you have planned.' _As she smiled up at him, Patrick Jane saw a little of the true Teresa Lisbon return.

'_Well, my little glow bug,' _he began brightly_, 'i thought that we would start with dinner...'_

**As always, thank you ever so much for reading. All comments are greatly appreciated. Updates shall be arriving soon. Katie.**


	18. eighteen

Hello all, i am back again. Celebrating my first day of freedom with a little bit of Jisbon. Did you all like his return? This chapter is shameless fluff; i thought they needed a little break for all the sadness.  
>I hope you enjoy...<p>

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<strong>  
><strong>Chapter Eighteen<strong>

As it turned out, much to Lisbon's surprise, and if she were being honest delight, Jane's idea of dinner was take out pizza from the local restaurant that their closed case pizzas came from. A delicious mix of stringy cheese, mushrooms, ham and sweetcorn, with the best pizza sauce ever created. She had to hand it to Jane, he really did know her incredibly well. And if she knew Jane, the three agents who she loved dearly would also be tucking into his special delivery right about now. Although thinking of them made her heart ache, she was determined to push it to the back of her mind for the time being. There was time for tears, and grief, and sadness later that night. Right now, all she wanted to do was eat her favourite food, with her favourite pain in the ass consultant.  
>Said consultant was currently watching as Lisbon scoffed down yet another slice of pizza; occasionally losing the topping in her rush to eat it. He lent over and wiped off the sauce that she had some how managed to get on her nose, choosing to eat it himself rather than simply wiping his hand. The quizzical look she gave him could only be described as cute as a button; something which she did incredibly well.<br>_'You eat like a five year old_.' he all but giggled.  
>Lisbon, trying to feign annoyance was betrayed by the smile that had spread across her entire being, <em>'Well, i was hungry. You made me wait far too long.'<br>__'Well, you sure managed to make up for the time delay. I'm still on my second piece, what is that, your fifth slice?'  
><em>'_Sixth_.' Lisbon was well and truly blushing now. Which, in the opinion of Jane, was when she was at her most beautiful.  
>Teresa could feel him staring at her, the humorous air now becoming slightly thicker, <em>'What?<em>' she enquired.  
><em>'Oh' nothing, i was just thinking about pudding<em>.' he smiled. Lisbon knew that he was lying, but didn't want to push it just now, in fear of ruining their time together. She knew there would come a time when they would stop the fun of a 'first date' and enter into deep conversation; Jane wouldn't let her go without knowing the entire truth about her, but for now, they would just enjoy the childish flirting and good food.  
><em>'You brought pudding?'<em> Lisbon questioned excitedly.  
>'<em>Perhaps you should finish the pizza that is around your face first.<em>' Jane pointed out the mess which she had made whilst eating.  
>Lisbon swatted him on the arm, her blush ever deepening, '<em>Child<em>.' Jane accused. To which Lisbon scowled, and carried on eating her pizza like a five year old at a birthday party, desperately hoping that pudding included at least 800 calories, and was completely bursting with chocolate and toffee sauce.

Jane and Lisbon sat crossed legged on her hospital bed; her snuggled into the head board with at least six bright white pillows piled up behind and beside her. Jane sat opposite, their knees just touching. He watched intently as she finished off the biggest slice of double chocolate, fudge brownie, marshmallow topped cake that he had ever seen before in his life. Himself licking the remnants of his cherry pie from his lips. He had always known that Lisbon had a sweet tooth, but he really didn't know how she wasn't sick. A single spoonful of the monstrosity she had just eaten would have lasted him a week.  
>Lisbon leaned across to the cabinet by the side of her bed and placed the now empty bowl onto it. She reached up and pulled her dark hair into the pile on top of her head and wrung round a bobble. Welcoming the cooling effect of getting the matted mess away from her neck and shoulders.<br>_'I hope that is what heaven tastes like_.' She mused, not really meaning to say it out loud, _'Thank you Jane, it was absolutely delicious._'  
>Lisbon was slightly shocked at how close Jane was now to her, rocked forward onto his knees that were moments ago touching hers. Her drew her in for a loving kiss, one that sent a million little stars shooting down her spine. Just as she was about to deepen the kiss, he pulled back a little, <em>'No my dear, that is what heaven tastes like.'<br>_Lisbon smiled brightly against Jane's lips, resting her forehead against his and just breathing in ever little bit of him that she could. Of the wonderful man who had healed her heart. The scent of Patrick Jane was a hard one to describe, but it was truly magical in every way. Tea leaves and summer skin. That is what he reminded her of, that and so much more. It was as if she could smell his whole life. The good and the bad. The breath taking and the heart breaking. The best days of his life and the worst. And right now, hot cherries still lingered on his breath, making his mouth taste too delicious to ever stop kissing. That is all she wanted to do. Forget every other thing in this entire world and simply melt into the flushed lips of Patrick Jane. But she also knew that this was a man that never did anything by halves, there would be a lot more to this sparkling night than dinner. So, with one last lingering peck on his lips, she pushed him back so that he was once again sitting opposite her. The slightly shocked look, but ever gorgeous look he had on his face making her giggle and blush. Goodness, he was such a handsome man.  
><em>'As much as i would love to kiss the entire night away, i fear you that have other plans for us tonight.'<br>__'Well, my little moon beam, you might just be right about that_.' And with a grin that said she was in store for the unexpected, Jane reached down to grab the box that was just one of the many supplies currently sat beneath Lisbon's bed. Placing it down in the space beneath their bodies, he soaked in the wonderful look of delight that washed over Teresa's features. She looked up at him, with all the excitement of a little girl on Christmas eve, _'Frustration!_' she squealed.  
>It had been years since Teresa Lisbon had played this game. Jane really did amaze her, sometimes it felt like he already knew her entire life. This was quite possibly the best game ever invented, and she intended to beat the devastatingly handsome, yet annoyingly smug man that was currently setting out the plastic game pieces; instinctively knowing that she wanted to be yellow.<p>

**That's all folks. At least for another chapter. I will be back with the next one very soon.  
>How are you liking their date so far?<br>I have a few more things planned for them yet (strictly 'hush hush' you understand) but if you have any suggestions/ideas for what they could do, please feel free to drop them by. If used, i will of course credit you for them.  
>Thank you again for reading. See you all soon. Katie :) xx <strong>


	19. nineteen

Good evening all. I'm back again. Due to the horrible weather i've spent the whole of today either reading or writing fan fiction. And, i missed to the lunar eclipse because it was just too cloudy to see.  
>Anyway onto the next chapter, it kind of ran away from me a little if i am honest. It's an odd mix of flirty, fluffy, romantic and heart breaking. I hope i did a good job, enjoy.<p>

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Nineteen**

The simple, and some what childish game of Frustration that was currently being played by Jane and Lisbon had turned into an altogether stronger battle of the wills. There had of course been heart felt flirting chatter and immature chatter to begin with; well for the most part really. But now Lisbon was one killer role of the dice away from beating Patrick Jane, something that she was sure would go down in the history books. However, rolling anything other than a five would mean that he himself was only a single role of a six away from winning. He was currently returning the glaring look that she was giving him, no doubt trying to put her off rolling the dice. Half a second away from placing her slightly clammy hand over the skin warmed bubble that encased the dice she was shopped by the words of Jane, _'Shall we make this a little more interesting?'  
><em>His proposition baffling her a little, her eyebrow raised to it's usual setting, but she was secretly rather enjoying the idea '_What are the stakes Mr. Jane?'  
><em>'_If you role anything other than a five, then i get to challenge you to a Lisbon friendly dare_.' he stated, as if it was the most serious message he had ever delivered.  
>Lisbon's lips quipped up into a slight smile, <em>'And if i do role a five?'<br>__'Then you get to have your wicked way with me.'  
><em>Lisbon thought about answering back, but in all honesty she couldn't think about anything other than that very tempting sentence ringing about in her head. Instead, she focused her entire energy into willing the dice to role a five. Slowly she brought her hand back over the bubble, flashing a quick glance into the eyes on Jane as she did so. Releasing the bubble, it popped up and the little dice rolled around for longer than seemed scientifically possible. With one last click of it's plastic casing, the red cube landed with four little white dots shining up at them. 'Crap.' Lisbon hissed, almost under her breath.  
>Jane smugly clicked the bubble and watched as he rolled a six, daintily clicking his green game piece into 'homey', daring Lisbon to react with his bright blue eyes.<br>_'If i'm not very much mistaken, i think that means you owe me a dare Miss. Lisbon_.' As much as Lisbon hated to admit it, there was something about Jane's unrelenting self confidence that made her a little weak at the knees. She turned into some what of a giggling school girl if he so much as looked at her with those eyes, and that damn smile. The man was some kind of wonderfully infuriating magic.

Jane could practically hear the moaning that was running through Lisbon's head as he pretended to ponder her dare. Of course, in reality he had planned this outcome from the very start. Putting just enough pressure on the bubble to role a six, all the while knowing Lisbon would press the thing too hard to have any kind of control over the dice. She really should have suspected that there would be a game, behind the game. He had a sneakier mind than she gave him credit for, but he intended to put it to good use this time.  
>Realising that he had waited long enough to truly make Lisbon squirm a little, Jane began the next phase of the most spectacular date he had ever planned, <em>'Close your eyes<em>.' a statement, rather than a question.  
>Lisbon was now just plain confused, <em>'Is that my dare?'<br>__'No, but if you don't do as i say, then the dare won't work, and my genius plans will be foiled,' _Jane smiled brightly, as if it should have been completely obvious, _'now, close those beautiful forest coloured eyes of yours_.' And she did just that, trusting that whatever Jane had planned next would be a million different kinds of wonderful.

Lisbon was sat with her hands clamped tightly to her eyes, not quite trusting herself not to peak if she had just closed her eyes. She could again hear Jane rustling about all around her, lugging about something that sounded as if it were quite heavy, at least if his occasional grunts were anything to go by. She couldn't help but giggle, quietly at first, but then she couldn't stop. Each time she thought she had controlled herself she would hear a little grunting sound escaping from somewhere in the room, and would dissolve into a fit of giggles she realised how obscure the scene would appear to anyone who happened to walk into her room. Lisbon, who was supposedly a patient in the ICU was currently sat with her eyes covered by her palms, a huge smiled plastered across her face, whilst a mad man in a three piece suit huffed about around the room, carrying all manner of mystery objects with him as he went. Lisbon thought she might very fell explode from the shear power of her laughter. It had been many, many years since she was in such an uncontrollable fit of laughter. She felt very much like she had just been sent out of assembly for talking too much, and was now faced with the prospect of calming down before the head teacher appeared. She was truly hysterical, and yet somehow managed to keep her hands in place. Her muscles ached and her cheeks felt like they might not ever stop burning, but she didn't care. It was all just too funny. But then she realised that Jane had stopped with whatever he had been doing, and was now most probably staring with that very intent look he often had when studying a suspect. Oh' how she would miss that look. Suddenly, it didn't seem quite as funny as it had done, in fact it wasn't even close to being funny. Tears stung at Teresa's tired eyes, kept back a little by the pressure of her slightly shaking hands. They slid down her slender arms and pooled at the bend of her elbow. She would miss so much. There we so many things that she would of taken the time to really enjoy had she known it would be her last chance to do so. The bitter rain that would unexpectedly pour down on them in the middle of a case. She remembered the look of pure unadulterated joy in Jane's eyes the day they had ran through it together. A leap of faith into the wild weather, and to the safety of her SVU. The way he had tipped his head back like a little kid would, and stuck out his tongue to the skies. Or watching the city from the roof of the CBI building. It was not something that Lisbon did often, but if a case ever got too much, she would let herself onto the roof and just take in the entire city. The feeling of being so high up making her a little light headed, but not minding at all. She had, even as a little girl climbing trees in the park, always wanted to be as high up as she possible could be. To take in more than you ever could from the ground. The freedom of being so close to the sky that you could almost touch the marsh mallow clouds. Her tears kept falling; harder and harder. Taking over her entire body. Breaking down all the strength that she had tried so hard to keep. Tearing through her being like wild fire.  
>She felt the strong arms of Jane envelope her trembling body, pulling her as tight as he could against his chest. Her hands now scrunched up in his soft blue shirt, her face hidden from the room by the warmth of his body. He stroked circles on her back, and shushed her like you would an over tired baby. Teresa Lisbon was not one to freely admit that she ever needed anyone to help her; she was independent to a fault, but right now, she would scream her need for Jane from the roof tops. She felt safe, something which she hadn't really experienced in it's entirety since the last time she had seen her beautiful mother, all those years ago.<p>

Lisbon had calmed down enough to be able to sit herself back up, and Jane loosened his protective grip a little in order to allow her to do so. The minute her eyes opened she was aware that the hospital room looked vastly different to what it had when Jane asked her to close her eyes. That harsh strip lighting had been replaced by the warm flicker of candlelight. Great rows of different coloured candles lined every surface that she could see; emanating a beautiful soft light out across the room. On the floor a wide circle of tea lights flickered brightly. Her eyes travelled about the whole room, finally coming to lay on an antique record player in the corner to the left of the tea lights. She was at a loss for words. Never had she imagined such a breath taking sight to be revealed. She looked over at Jane, who's eyes hadn't left her since she opened her own. His smile sparkling ever more in the almost ghostly light. He kissed her lightly on both cheeks, delicately removing any trace of her salty tears, before extending a hand to her own. Their eyes locked with passion and love, and Lisbon placed her palm Jane's. _'Teresa Lisbon, may i have this dance?'_

**Okay, what did you think? I'm not too sure myself, but once i start to write out the plot, i don't like to change my mind. We will get to see the dance in the next instalment, i've been thinking about the idea since about the second chapter. aha  
>Please let me know what you thought.<br>Thank you again for reading, Katie. **


	20. twenty

Hello all. Hope you are all well?  
>Please excuse this chapter if it isn't as good as it perhaps should be, it was written really rather late at night, but i needed to write it.<br>...

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Twenty **

Lisbon couldn't hardly contain her joy at the prospect of being held in the arms of the man she loved. A man who had made her a dance floor out of candles, and kissed her passionately despite knowing that her lips would taste of sickly black coffee. It was a reality she had never thought possible, but one that was going on around her that very instant. Patrick Jane, perhaps the most wonderfully handsome man in the entire world, was asking her to dance. Of course, they had done so before; but that was on a case, more a plan to annoy her than anything else. This was different, his love filled gesture had shocked her to the very core. She was never one for Cinderella, but she was certain that this was the night that all little girls secretly dream about. It felt so good to be loved so intensely. She had in all her girlish excitement forgotten about the robotic prison that her body had become. Lisbon rushed forward too quickly for her broken system to handle. Pain seared through her like lightening, and tears stung at her already blotchy eyes. But there was a warming hand at her side, and reassuring eyes staring into hers.  
><em>'Hey, hey.. Teresa, you don't need to rush ok? Let me help you<em>.' and in the moment of fleeting terror, she knew that she would. Jane was her knight in shining armour. Too many years of Lisbon's life had been filled with pain simply because she refused to accept help off of anyone. Something deep inside prevented her from even contemplating it. But Jane was different; he didn't make her feel small and insignificant. It was like allowing him to help her was a sign of strength, not of the weakness that she was so fearful of.

Lisbon stood with the confidence that one does after being trapped in the same place for far too long; the desperate need to stretch her aching legs was almost overpowered by the trembling of her bones. Jane had helped her to slowly sit on the edge of the bed, lowering it so that her bare feet lay flat against the cold vinyl floor. She had grasped at the flimsy hospital gown that was lagging at her shoulders, suddenly feeling all too exposed. Seeing her discomfort Jane had placed his earlier discarded suit Jacket over her beautifully pale back and helped her into the baggy arms. He had to admit, it gave him a funny feeling of lust to see Teresa Lisbon wearing his grey suit jacket. Like they had truly been on a first date; walking through the park at midnight. The air crisp and new. Then he had pulled her gently to her feet, one arm expertly placed to keep her steady, and the other detangling any wires that found themselves to be in the wrong place. She clung so tightly to Jane that it scared him a little, but she soon found her feet. And then she stood, amidst a sea of candlelight, looking more like the Teresa Lisbon he knew than she had done in hours. Letting go of his strong arms, she looked up at the concerned eyes of Jane, and graced the corner of his lips with her own. _'Thank you' _she whispered.  
><em>'Not at all<em>,' he responded, '_now, wait just a second, we need music my little egg plant_.' and with that he quickly turned to the old record player that Lisbon had seen earlier, and placed the needle onto the only record that they ever needed.

Lisbon's breath all but failed as the first crackling note of 'More Than Words' played out across the softly glowing room. Jane was once again staring deep into her eyes; one hand taking her own, and the other creeping under his jacket to hold tightly onto her lower back. He lent his head down, _'Someone very beautiful once told me that you love this song_.' his smile evident in the hot breath that tickled the back of her neck.  
>With her hand tangled into his golden curls, Lisbon took in all that she could of Jane before the lyrics began, and then she tucked her head tightly under his strong jaw and pressed against his chest, wanting to forget everything except the man she had wholeheartedly fallen in love with and the beautiful lyrics of her favourite song.<p>

They moved together to the heart felt lyrics, closer than they had ever been before. Neither noticed the wires that were sandwiched between them. Neither cared that hospital machines continued to ring out. Neither thought of the terrible sadness that was to come. No, for now, they were simply two people who were completely and utterly in love with one another.  
>Jane was singing softly to Lisbon as they danced as if they were the only two people left on the entire world.<p>

_**Now that I've tried to talk to you, and make you understand**_

Lisbon cried tears of uncontrollable love, one that she once thought of as impossible. A love that she had always thought she didn't deserve. And yet here she was, in the perfect arms of her perfect man. She had found the one thing that had always been missing from her life. Happiness.

_**All you have to do is close your eyes, and just reach out your hands**_

Jane could feel her tears soaking again into the blue material of his shirt, and finally allowed his own to fall. He had tried desperately to hold them in the entire night. This was about Teresa, his pain had for too long been her burden to carry.

_**And touch me**_

But these were not tears of pain or sorrow. They were of acceptance, and hope, and love. After the devastating loss of his beloved wife and daughter, Jane had thought that he would never again feel anything but desperation and grief. But then he had found Teresa Lisbon, and with her a light. A beacon in the night, telling him that things might just be ok again.

_**Hold me close, don't ever let me go**_

He would never forget the pain that Red John had cause him, but Teresa had saved him from a life of hatred and seeking revenge. She was more important than that. She was his saving grace, and perhaps the love of his life.

Even as the final sleepy notes played out, and the room was again encased in the broken silence of a hospital room, Jane and Lisbon carried on with their final dance. Not wanting to break the warmth that such close contact brought. It felt right to be in each others arms. Both wishing desperately that they had been brave enough to show each other how they felt before it was too late. Both knowing that they could have brought about something truly great if they had.  
>Lisbon's eyes were growing ever heavy, and she could feel herself pressing deeper into Jane's body. His strength the only thing preventing her from collapsing into a shattered pile on the floor. And she thought to herself that perhaps they should stop dancing. Perhaps she needed the confines of her hospital bed. Perhaps she didn't even have the strength to stand any more. Perhaps it didn't matter. She was safe for a little while longer. Jane wouldn't ever let her fall. Like a little girl who had been sent to bed, she just wanted a little minute more. To capture every memory possible of the one and only Patrick Jane.<p>

**There we have it. The idea that has been floating about in my head for weeks, which was actually very hard for me to write.  
>I'm going on holiday for a week on monday, so this may be the last chapter until next weekend, but i will try to update it tomorrow if i get the chance. If not, please stick with me, i will be updating as soon as i am home.<strong>

**Please leave me a review.. i'd love to know what you thought of this one, as i'm not really sure myself.**  
><strong>Thank you for reading, Katie.<strong>


	21. twenty one

Hello all. I'm back from my little holiday to Center Parcs (which actually gave me a rather good idea for my next Jisbon + the team fic.. but more on that once this one has been finished)  
>We're getting near the end now, but for now, please enjoy the next chpater..<p>

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Twenty One **

They had eventually moved back into Lisbon's hospital bed; Jane literally sweeping her off of her feet. He had felt her weight ever increasing against him, and had carried her back to the bed just before she had fallen completely into a slumber. He had known that their dance would signal the beginning of the end; when all that was left was to lay down in the candle light and talk of all the things that they should of had years to do so. It wasn't fair; there was no justice in his beautiful Teresa Lisbon being drained of her entire life, when such monsters were still free to live as they pleased. Jane liked the idea of religion, something which he knew would be shock to those that knew him. The security of knowing that some great man in the sky was looking after the entire earth. That the truly good souls when to heaven, and the evil would be left to suffer in hell. It was a lovely thought. But with all that had happened in his life; all the heart break and loss he had been witness to, he just couldn't believe anymore. No God would let this happen. His wife and child had been brutally torn from his arms all those lonely years ago, and now the most magical woman to ever enter into his life was dying in his very arms. No, none of this was fair.

'_Can i tell you something?' _Lisbon was pressed tight against Jane's chest, her voice muffled by his chest.  
>Normally Jane would have taken joy in poking a little harmless fun at the oddity of Lisbon's question, but tonight something was telling him to just make it as easy as he could for her, as whatever she was about to say had probably taken her the whole night to find the courage to tell him. '<em>Anything at all my little lion cub.'<br>_She smiled softly up at him, she loved every single nick name he gave her, no matter how odd, he had ever called her. It was like a secret little game they played. He thought up the most ridiculous thing he could, she would pretend to be annoyed by the entire idea, and they both felt a little warm and fuzzy inside. Something that didn't come often for either of them. Lisbon took in a deep breath, hoping that what she was about to say wouldn't undo all the love that they had shared that evening.  
>'<em>I've been thinking, ever since you asked me if i were scared of dying, and i realise now that i'm not scared of anything any more; not one little bit. But, there is something that i will always regret, and i think that it might just break my heart all over again,<em>' Jane was astounded by her honesty, and truly grateful that Teresa Lisbon trusted him enough to open her heart like this. He pulled her in tighter to his chest; a silent reassurance to go on with what she was saying. It was safe here, he wouldn't leave her. _'I never got to be a Mum. Not really anyway, i mean, i looked after my Brother's, but that was because i had to. I had no choice but to protect them. And i love my little nieces and nephews, but that isn't the same either. I never really thought about the whole family thing, but i always knew that would day i would do it; the whole white picket fence dream. I always thought i had time, that i could wait until i was ready. I wanted to know that i would have all that a baby needed before i got pregnant. I had motherhood thrust upon me when i was little, i was too young then. I wanted to be ready, you know? I wanted to be the best Mum that i could be_.' Hot, silent tears were streaming down her pale face, but Jane knew that there was more. There was still something that Lisbon had to tell him, so her brushed away the salty streaks, and allowed her to carry on. _'And... and i think that maybe i was almost ready. I had the dream job, and enough money for a house and anything else that i would have needed. I was just missing the perfect man, only he wasn't really missing Patrick, he was right in front of my eyes this whole time, and i was too damn stubborn to see him. It was always supposed to be me.. and you. This night, it made me realise something that i have always known, you are him, Jane, you are my perfect man. We could of had it all. The romance, the marriage, the house, the babies.. the whole fairy story. It would of been hard, but we could have done it. We should have done it. Me and you, Patrick, that it what was supposed to happen. You were my destiny. You, and me, and three perfect little babies. Nothing else would have mattered. They would have known about their big sister Charlotte, and her beautiful Mother. About the wonderful man their Daddy used to be, and the ever brilliant one he is today. My Mum too, with her bright and loving heart. I think that we would have done a good job with it, being parents i mean. It.. it would have.. it sh. sh.. should have been..' _Lisbon had finally ran out of the magic that had kept her going; that had allowed her to explain her dream to Jane. The tears running through her body causing her to choke and splutter against Jane. Barely able to breath at all. He pulled her up so that she was sat in between his legs, her back pressed to his chest. Rubbing soothing circles on her arms, encouraging her to take in great lungfuls of air.  
>When she had calmed down enough, still with tears remaining, he lent his head down to kiss her softly on the cheek. Brushing past her ear as he went, he softly whispered, <em>'It would have been all i've ever dreamed of. I would have been perfect<em>.' Lisbon turned around so that she was now facing Jane; her legs wrapped tightly around his back, and looked deep into his wonderfully blue eyes that were so filled with love and sorrow. She placed a passion laced kiss against his mouth, before collapsing into his arms and holding on with all the life that she had left.

And there they sat; in the safe arms of their love, sharing in a hug so full of emotion that it scared them both a little. Jane, having always been a great story teller, whispered the imaginary story of a girl named Lisbon and a boy named Jane who fell in love and had beautiful babies, in a beautiful house. A story that even as he told it broke his heart into a million pieces, only to be glued back together again the very next second by the woman he loved more than anything in this entire universe. A story that he intended to tell until the heroin of his story was ready to leave the world they had created behind. Because that is when their night would end; when Lisbon was ready. When she had given the world all that she possibly could, and simply did not have enough energy to stay on the Earth a single moment longer, no matter how desperately she wanted to. And although Jane was not a religious man, he had to agree that the idea of heaven was one that he had always believed in, despite finding the rest of it incomprehensible. It was a comforting thought; the only three people who he had ever really loved would be all together, in a world that was far away from all the evils if this one, waiting for the day the that he himself would join them. Heaven is what had kept Patrick Jane here on this earth after the death of his beloved wife and child; knowing that they would be able to look over him, and send him a little guidance if he was in real need. Guidance in the form of the love of a truly good women. He sometimes thought, often very late at night, that it had been his family that had sent him in the direction of Teresa Lisbon. He was no longer a part of their lives, so they were allowing him great happiness and love whilst he kept on living. Something which he feared he might not ever find again after the last beep, of the last machine. The last kiss of a angel in human form. That is what his goodbye to Teresa would be. She was his guardian angel in ever sense of the word, and he would miss her with the weight of the world.

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><p><strong>Thank you ever so much for reading. I hope you liked it? Please leave a comment if you have the chance to do so.<br>Another update will be coming soon.  
>Katie x <strong>


	22. twenty two

Hello all. I hope you are all well?  
>We have come to the point in the story where Lisbon's life has to end. It was an odd chapter to write, and she is a character that i really do love. If this were to happen in the show i don't think my heart could take it. I tried to make it happy (that isn't the right word.. but i can't think of a better one) I guess, i'm trying to say is that this story in it's very nature is supposed to be sad, but not completely. There are moments of light and joy in it too.<br>I will stop rambling now, i hope you like my take on the end...

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Twenty Two **

'_Tell me something beautiful_.' Lisbon's voice was hoarse and scratchy; like someone who hasn't spoken in many hours. In truth, she wasn't exactly sure of how much time had passed. She didn't even know what day it was anymore. It all seemed so surreal; like no time had passed by what so ever, as if the world had come to a complete standstill. Of course, she knew that this wasn't reality. The earth didn't stop turning for a single person. Great earthquakes could shake the entire planet, and hurricanes wash away a thousand cities. The world never stopped turning. Human beings, as a whole, never stopped living. Personal tragedy and loss, it wasn't felt across the world. No, it concentrated itself into a burning inferno of heartbreak and pain, contained only by the people who knew of it's existence. The rest of society simple carried on as if nothing at all had changed.

Patrick Jane wasn't quite sure what to say. How could he tell her something beautiful? For all the beauty that was in the universe, he couldn't think of how to put it into words. It was too great; way past a single beings understanding. But then he realised, all the beauty he needed was snuggled close into his own body. He had her entire lifetime to pick from. Teresa Lisbon was beauty; inside and out. He intended to make sure that she knew this, before it was too late for his words to reach her.

He kissed her softly on top of her head, and pulled her a little closer to him. Inhaling her magical scent as he took a breath. Making sure she was listening to all that he was about to say. '_You are beauty Teresa Lisbon, every single thing about you. So much so that it scares me; you scare me. But in the most wonderful way possible, because, with you, i can feel again. All those years ago, after Red John and all that he stole from me, i was nothing. An empty shell of the man i used to be. I went through days at a time of feeling completely numb, only to be washed over by a great wave of anger and desperation. All i knew was that i needed revenge, and i would stop at nothing to get it. To destroy the monster who had destroyed me. But then, i found you. The woman with forest green eyes, who spoke with such conviction about every single thing she saw. Who had a clear boundary between right and wrong; one that she crossed a little for me. A woman who smelt like cinnamon toast and something that was a pure lust for life. A bright burning spirit. And you have this great heart that has somehow found it's way into my own. And mine to yours. You showed me that it was ok to feel again. That my beloved wife and child could always have a place in my heart, without allowing their memory to destroy me. I found happiness when i met you. I don't believe in religion, but i do believe that a greater power sent you to me. We met when i was at my lowest, so close to the point of no return that i could barely breath. And yet, you still managed to rescue me. You never gave up, even if sometimes it would have been far easier for you, if you had just left me in the darkness that i was so encased in. I owe my life to you. I know that i wouldn't have survived if i didn't have you. First as a colleague, then as a friend, and now as a great love that burns through my entire being. I love you, Teresa Lisbon, and that is the most beautiful thing i have ever experienced in my whole life. We are both of us broken; broken and beautiful. An oxymoron in every sense of the word. We shouldn't work, but somehow, when brought together, we do. I believe that you are my soul mate. The one person in this cold and desolate world that i was supposed to find. Not in a fairy story way, but something that is far more real. You are my best friend before you are anything else. The person i want to share everything with; from a stupid office joke, to the deepest chasm of my heart. You make everything you touch beautiful. You shine Teresa Lisbon, and you always will._'

They were both openly crying as Jane spoke; every word making the end more real than it was mere seconds before. Lisbon wished with all her heart that she could have heard those words spoken on another night, in another setting. The start of the rest of their lives, instead of the premature ending of hers. She looked deep into Jane's eyes, and he did hers. Lisbon reached up to meet Jane's blushed lips, and kissed him with the passion of a thousand suns. Giving all of herself to him in the last moments of her life. She had so much that she wanted to say, and yet none of the strength needed to do so. Instead, she opened up her heart in her kiss, and showed Jane all that he meant to her. All of the beauty that he had shown her in their time together. All of the cherished memories they had shared. And when the need for oxygen overpowered them both, they pulled apart just enough to breath again; still ghosting against each other's lips. And with the last remaining strength that remained in her crumbling body, Lisbon whispered the words that they had both be dreading the entire night. Three little words that would bring about the end of something that would have been so wonderful, but was never given the chance to be all that it could. _'It's time Patrick.' _

Patrick Jane knew that it was now his time to be strong; to think selflessly and to prove his love for the women that lay dying in his arms. With one last kiss to memorise every little piece of Lisbon that he could, and tears falling so hard that he could barely see, he untangled his right hand from her soft, raven hair and pushed down on the switch that would cut off her last tie to the waking world. It seemed so insignificant to him, a simple flick of a switch, but it would bring about so much. He wrapped his arms as tight as he could around Lisbon, a last hope of sharing his own life with her. But, her beautiful light was fading fast, and all he could do now was to make sure she felt his love as she slowly slipped away.

Teresa Lisbon had heard the deafening flick of the switch echo out across the room. It was odd; how could something seemingly so small, cause so much? It wouldn't be long now, her body was weak and failing quickly. The warmth of Jane's body battling hard against the ghostly cold that was spreading through her whole being. Burning like wildfire through her veins; leaving behind a pile of lifeless ashes. She could hear him whispering words of love and reassurance to her. She could feel the hot tears of the man she loved soaking into her hair. Her world was growing increasingly dark. Her ears started buzzing, like someone had stuffed them full of cotton wool; muffling his beautiful voice ever more. The foul and metallic taste of blood filled her mouth. She was grateful of the morphine she had been given; enough to block out all of the physical pain that her injuries had caused. And as her lungs became heavier, her body colder, her heart rate slower, she knew she only had seconds left on this earth. It wasn't like anything she had expected. It was much like the last moments of the night before you drift off to sleep; nothing spectacular, but nothing ordinary either. It was, for lack of a better word, like being at complete and utter peace with the world. All the cares and the pain disappeared, and only the good remained. The smiling faces of her little brothers before their mother had died, the alcohol induced hilarities with her best friends from her days of police training, the CBI summer ball and the wonderful team that she had been a part of, and lastly, the soft lips and tea stained kisses of Patrick Jane; the most incredible man she had ever had the pleasure to call a friend, and a lover. Her final breath was spent thinking of him. All of the magical times that they had together, without a second thought to the regrets that had earlier raged through her body and mind. She had loved with her whole heart, and nothing else really mattered. Her last thought was a wonderful one. The only time in her life that she could wholeheartedly say that the only thing she had felt was happiness. And she realised that death should never be feared, no matter how premature or unexpected. In that final second of life, the whole world shone with the light of a million flickering candles, and Teresa Lisbon said goodbye to a life that she would cherish until the day that the earth did truly stop turning.

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><p>There we go. Please, tell me what you thought?<br>I would love to know what you thought of the way i wrote that chapter, as i really wasn't too sure of how to. I just hope i did it justice.  
>There will be a little more to this story. The funeral, of course, but also some added extras too.<br>Leave a comment if you are able, and i will update as soon as i can.  
>Thank you for reading, Katie.<p> 


	23. twenty three

Hello all, i am back again :) With a chapter that seemed to have a mind of it's own, as i never really intended to go down this road, but am now glad that i did. Enjoy..

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Twenty Three **

Jane wasn't quite sure how he had made it to the ghastly corridor outside of Lisbon's room. Because it still was her room. The bed was empty now, but it still held her essence. It smelt like Teresa Lisbon, and it was a place he hadn't wanted to leave, of that he was sure. He had felt the moment she slipped away from him, a hardly noticeable change, but he had known what it meant. He was alone; and that was something that he had never wanted to experience again. He had clung so tightly to her body; not caring that people would see him as the broken and uncontrolled man the he had again become. What did any of it matter any more? She was gone. He had nothing. He hadn't noticed the nurses that were quietly going about their business. He hadn't realised that Dr. Jenson was speaking to him. All he knew was that he had loved Teresa Lisbon, and as long as he could hold her beautiful form, he would be ok. He could go on pretending that she was simply sleeping in his arms. That she would rise with the sun, and kiss him ever so lightly on the cheek. Slightly embarrassed by her dishevelled hair and smudged mascara. She would watch him as he made her coffee. Shower with him before they both headed off to work. It was a bitter sweet denial, but one that he needed; at least for a little while longer.

Now he was sat, in the very same chair as he had been hours before, staring intently at nothing in particular. He could hear the overpowering sobs of VanPelt. The whispers of Rigsby. The silent tears of Cho, only given away by the tightness of his breathing. None knew what to say, and nor did they really feel like talking. They sat together in their grief, and let the horror of the day wash over their exhausted minds. Soon they would have to leave; the hospital was busy, and they really no longer had any right to be there. They would each go home to some form of comfort, that they knew would do nothing to make any of this feel even remotely better. VanPelt and Rigsby would leave together; needing the security of another human being to get them through the night. Cho would go home to his empty apartment, pour himself a glass of something much stronger than coffee, and read novel after novel; wanting desperately to stop the tears that were sure to cloud his vision. Jane, well Jane had no idea as to what he was going to do. He didn't feel like going home, and he didn't really have one to speak of. He had no loving arms to curl up into. No one to share his pain with. He was, for the second time in his life, completely and utterly alone.

Dr. Jenson was about to finish the most heart breaking shift she had ever been through in her entire life. She intended to go home, watch a mindless romantic comedy with her flat mates, and eat as much chocolate ice cream as she could stomach. She saw death on an almost daily basis, but it had never hit her quite like this before. There was something so wonderful about Teresa Lisbon, and she wished that she had been able to do more. To stop the three agents and the consultant currently sat in the blank and emotionless corridor from losing someone that clearly meant so much to them. Just as she was about to leave, she remembered the letters she had promised to pass on to them, and made a quick detour to collect them. The envelopes weighed heavy in her hands as she approached the four grief stricken bodies. She wished desperately that she could make them feel better, but she knew that she couldn't. Perhaps the words of their fearless leader would offer a small help. Perhaps they would break their hearts even more.

Jane had, much like the others, been shocked by the delivery of a letter from Lisbon. He wasn't sure if he dared read it yet. All that he felt, all the the pain, it was too fresh, too strong. He needed chance to clear his head a little. To really appreciate and understand the heart felt words that he was sure to find insides the pale ivory envelope. And that is why he currently found himself sat in the office of Teresa Lisbon, on the sofa he had brought her as an apology for one of his crack pot schemes, as she called them, drinking tea that was a couple of degrease too hot, trying to find the courage to open her letter. As he turned the envelope round in his hand, the almost missable sentiment that she had written in the back left corner caught his attention. The letters, smaller than usual, but unmistakably in the handwriting of Teresa Lisbon, brought a smile to his face that he had thought of as impossible in light of the loss he felt. But there they were, five little words smiling up at him. He could almost see the smirk that would have graced her features as she thought of writing them. The hint of mischief in her beautiful eyes. And as he read them once more, he realised that the only option that he ever had was to open the envelope, even before he found her little message, '_**Go on, I dare you**_.'

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><p>So, what did you think?<br>I know it was rather short, but i thought that the actual reading of the letters they each received deserved a chapter of their own. I have always loved the idea of hand written letters, so i rather enjoy bringing them into my stories. I'm not sure if each one will be a single chapter, or if they will all combine into one. I'm just going to see where my mind takes me.  
>I will update soon. Thank you for reading.<br>Katie.


	24. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

I actually have a little pet peeve about these being left as chapters on stories, i think it is because i get rather excited when a story is updated, only to realise that i don't get to read the next little installment. So, i am very sorry for leaving one, but i needed to. I currently don't have a computer of my own .. my poor little laptop, Greg, has yet again broken, and it doesn't look hopeful. I've managed to steal a quick 10 minutes on our old computer to write this. I probably won't be able to update for a while due to having no computer. Why don't i use this one, you ask? ..because i like to write late at night and with no chance of anyone seeing over my shoulder, which is impossible on this old thing that sits in our dining room. Please don't forget about my little story, because i genuinely love writing it. I have it all planned out, and can't wait to be able to write again. Stick with me, and i will be back as soon as i can!

Thank you for reading this, and i am again sorry for leaving it.  
>Hope to write you all very soon, keep you fingers crossed that Greg gets better soon. Katie xx<p> 


	25. twenty four

Hello all. I am awfully sorry this has taken me so long to update, but it couldn't be helped. I finally have my lovely little Greg back, and can carry on with writing this. I hope you are all well? Enjoy the next chapter..

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Twenty Four **

Jane breathed in deep, filling his senses with all that was Teresa Lisbon, as he willed himself to do as she wanted, and to read the most heart breaking letter that he had ever received in his life. He etched out the paper from it's ivory casing, and let his eyes take in the slightly shaky handwriting of the women he loved. Black ink filled the pages; long chunks had been scribbled out and re-written, other words were a little smudged in places. Streaks ran across the lines, where her tears had hit the page as she wrote, and his own began to mingle with them. Jane wiped fiercely at his tears, allowing his eyes to see clearly the loving words on the page. He took in one last lung full of air, before he began to read.

_My Dearest Jane,_  
><em>You wouldn't believe how many times i've had to restart this; i just didn't know how to begin. Even addressing it seemed an impossible task. I know that calling you by your surname is something forged from working together, but i like to think of it as my name for you. Something that only we share outside of the office. To me you are Jane, and i think you always would have been. We'd have been this mad old couple who sat out in their garden, who never once called each other by their first names. You would have been Jane, and me, well... you seem to come up with a new nickname every time we speak. Your little lion cub perhaps? I think you know already, but i want you to hear it from me, i loved them; every single nonsensical name that you gave me. It could be the worst day of the entire year, and one silly little name from you had me smiling like a fool, and feeling altogether happy again.<em>  
><em>You made my life so much more wonderful than i ever imagined that it could be. Sure, work was a little 'tricky' at times, and the paper work was bloody endless, but none of that is really of any consequence in the grand scheme of things. You made me happy; something that i hadn't felt in a very long time. You turned up at my office in that damn three piece suit, and i felt like i could breathe again. I knew you were desperately hurting, and locked in on a mission of revenge, but i also knew that you were perhaps the most devastatingly handsome man i had ever seen in my entire life. You were beautifully broken, and i guess, so was i. You showed me that it was ok to hurt. You taught me how to feel again. I like to think that perhaps i did you. That i played a part in making you whole again. That, together, we began to heal each other.<em>  
><em>This night, it's killing me Jane, because i know that i have to leave you. I have to go, and you have to stay. I know it is selfish of me, but i wish that i could take you with me. That we could spend an eternity together in the light and the love of the afterlife. But i know that we cannot. Your place is here Jane; on the earth and with the living. You have seen more loss than anyone should ever have to in a single life time, but i need you to know that you are stronger than that. You, Jane, are too wonderful to let this destroy you. I need you to go on, and live your life for the both of us. I didn't ever want to leave, but i had to. I would give any thing for one last day in your arms; for one last wonderful kiss, but that is something that i cannot do. It was my time. Please, don't fall back into the darkness in which i found you. Live your life in the light, and appreciate everything that is wonderful in the world. Revenge means nothing to me, so please do not go in search of it. I want you to be happy. It's ok to miss me, and it's ok to be sad, but don't waste too much time with those emotions. Remember me, but don't forget about yourself. You have a whole lifetime left. Do something wonderful with it.<em>  
><em>I want to thank you for the love that we shared. A wise man once said that love is friendship set on fire, and i believe that to be wholeheartedly true. Because Jane, you set my entire being on fire. You spread warmth to my heart, and hope to my soul. I felt for you so strongly that it was visible for all to see. You were the burning light of my life. You are the only man i have ever truly loved, and you made me feel like no other could.<em>  
><em>I love you Patrick Jane; now, forever, and always. I'll be waiting with the angels, and watching over you from the safety of their arms. Don't let me down now, go out and live your life. You shine something beautiful, and the world deserves to see that. <em>  
><em>Goodbye, my love.<em>

Jane held the tear stained paper tight to his heart; and wept for all that he had lost. He would do as Lisbon had asked; this time there would be no mission of revenge and suffering. He wanted nothing but good memories of their time together. Patrick Jane would recover, and he would live a life worthy of her love. But right now, he was drowning in a grief so strong that he had to give up the fight. Acceptance would come, but it would take time. Tonight, he needed to cry for the loss of a beautiful soul. The world would never again be quite the same now that such a magical life had been ripped from it. The team would never be the same, and nor the individuals that were a part of it. Teresa Lisbon was the biggest part of Jane's life, and he wasn't sure of how to be without her. How to live without the woman that had truly saved his life. How to go on without his little lion cub.

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><p>There we have it. What did you think? Please let me know.<br>Hopefully there will be another update tomorrow (:  
>Thank you, as always, for reading. Katie.<p> 


	26. twenty five

Hello all. I'm back again, and this time a lot sooner. It feels wonderful to be able to write again; i didn't realise how much i had missed it. I hope you enjoy this chapter.. it is longer than my normal updates, but it didn't seem quite right when i tried to split it into two parts.

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Twenty Five **

Grace VanPelt and Wayne Rigsby had found comfort in the arms of each other after the heartbreaking sorrows of the day had made it too painful to even imagine spending the night alone. They knew that their desperate attempts at hiding their relationship from their colleagues had all but failed completely from the very beginning, but now they didn't care in the slightest. Not after today. Not after all that they had lost. They loved each other, and intended to make sure they spent all the time that they had left together. Of course, neither knew how long they had left together. They hoped to spend decades growing up, and growing old together. With marriage, and children, and a white picket fence. But they had both witnessed firsthand the fragility of life, and how easily it was ripped apart. They wanted to make the most of their days. They wanted to be together, in every sense of the word. Tonight, as they lay under the covers of their king sized bed; skin against skin, and a warmth that only a lover can bring, they had never felt closer. United in grief, and a longing for human contact.

Grace was tucked tightly into the chest of Rigsby; his arms holding on to her like never before. Pools of silent tears collected on the pillow beneath their heads, tying together their pain. The letters, so surprisingly written by Lisbon, lay on the bed covers with them; neither quite sure if they were ready for what lay inside.  
><em>'I don't think i can read mine Wayne. I'm not strong enough, not tonight.'<em> Grace's voice was but a tear streaked whisper; but still a stark comparison to the deathly silence in which they had previously been.  
>'<em>You are the strongest person i have ever known<em>.' Rigsby wanted more than anything to comfort her, but he simply did not know what to say. Would anything ever be able to take away the grief fuelled exhaustion that had encased them both?  
>'<em>No, Wayne, I'm not...<em>' he tried to protest, but was cut off by the continued words of VanPelt, '_Lisbon was. She was so wonderfully strong, probably throughout her entire life, and we need to honour that. Lisbon was more than just a boss to us, she was family. She was Teresa. And her words deserve to be read._' VanPelt wasn't sure where that had come from, but she truly meant every word. Teresa Lisbon had, over the years, become a part of her family, and they needed to read her letters.  
>'<em>Ok.<em>' Was the simple agreement of Rigsby, who knew that VanPelt was right. They needed to do this tonight; they needed to honour Lisbon's wishes. It was the only thing that they could do.

They had agreed that they would read the letters privately before sharing what was within them. Lisbon had written them personally to each of them, and it didn't seem right to allow anyone else to see what was written before they had done so themselves. That is why they had found themselves sat in separate parts of the apartment they shared, with a promise to return to each other once they were ready to do so. To share what they wanted of the letters, but to respect the privacy of the words as well.

Grace VanPelt was seated in the window sill of their living room. The curtains open against the beautiful night sky. Starlight shining bright, even against the city lights. Rigsby's sweatshirt hanging from her smaller frame; filling her with a sense of love and comfort. She held onto the ink stained paper with shaking hands; the ivory envelope placed gently beside her. Snuggling as deep as she could into the warmth of her lovers scent, Grace found the courage to begin reading the final words of Teresa Lisbon.

_To the beautiful soul of Grace VanPelt,_

_I want to start by thanking you for your hard work and dedication to the job. I know that i was a little hard on you to start with, but it was only because i wanted you to be the agent that i knew you could be. To be strong, and fearless, and courageous. I could see that you had great spirit, and i hoped that you would use my somewhat harsh treatment as a way to prove yourself. And Grace, you did, a million times over. You have such a bright future at the CBI, and i know that you will achieve all that you want to. Don't ever let anyone tell you different. We both know that there are still some small minded idiots that do not believe woman should be a part of the CBI, but we also both know that they are terribly wrong. You have proven yourself to me, and you can do so to anyone that questions you. Please, do not let anyone destroy your spirit; you don't need to be bitter and twisted to be a damn good agent. Get out there, and kick the ass of anyone who even dares to mess with you. You are a wonderful agent VanPelt._

_But, life isn't just about work. I found this out far too late, but you don't have to make the same mistake as i did. Differentiate between Agent VanPelt, and Grace; this will be your greatest gift in life. To know that work isn't everything; you need a personal life too. Fall in love, and have a family, and do all the things that you dreamed of as little girl. I wish i was there to share in them with you, but you are in good hands with Wayne Rigsby. He is a good man, and you both deserve to find happiness with each other. I've seen the lingering looks you share, and the obvious love you have for one another. There would have been a time when i was angry about the relationship of two co-workers, but now i see it to be a beautiful thing. Don't waste any time with fears of what other people will think. Make a go of it. Live a life of love and happiness. Don't sacrifice your entire life, for a job. In the end, it's the people that mean the most who you remember, not how many arrests you made. I wish you every happiness in the future, and am secretly hoping that you find it with Wayne. You two are the definition of fairy story love, and you should have your happily ever after._

_I hope you don't mind me asking something of you. Look out for Jane. I believe that he will be hit hardest by my parting. We all know that he has witnessed terrible things in the past, and was barely surviving when he was first dropped on our doorstep. He's stronger than most think, and he's passionate, but he feels deeply. Sometimes too deeply for anyone to realise. He'll need someone to turn to when he is ready for comfort, and i am intrusting him to you. You are compassionate, and understanding. You're not afraid to speak of how you feel. I know that, if mine and Jane's places were reversed, i would turn to you for support. He can take care of himself, but might just need a little push to get him started. To prevent him from slipping too far into his grief. It would mean the entire world to me if you could look after him a little; In case my looking over him is not enough._

_Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the friendship we have shared throughout the years; you are a wonderful woman Grace VanPelt, and i will never forget you._  
><em>Good luck with all that comes your way, and great love too, Teresa.<em>

VanPelt collapsed into a mass of cascading tears, and did nothing to discourage them. The words of her dear friend echoed throughout her head. Grief piling ever more on top of her. Nothing but tears could do anything to dispel it. So there she sat, with her letter tightly clung to her chest, waiting for the warm arms of Rigsby to envelope her once again.

Wayne Rigsby had always like being outside, which is why he chose to sit on the back door step to read the letter Lisbon had written to him. The kitchen light illuminating the space, and the stars shining ever bright. The cool night air stung his face and cleared his head; making it seem somehow easier to breath. The ivory envelope had been discarded on the kitchen table, and he was as ready as he would ever be for the inevitable heartache that was awaiting him.

_To the lovable heart of Wayne Rigsby,_

_It has been a wonder to work with you Rigsby. You are an excellent agent, and i would entrust my life to you in an instant. You are brave and bold of heart, and you always have the team's best interests in mind. I see how you look out for us. I see how you protect us, and ask for no recognition. But more than that, you make our work enjoyable. You and Cho are somewhat of a double act, and many times it's been hard to control the laughter at your antics. You are a great asset to the CBI, and i want to thank you for your years of service under me. I know it will be of little surprise that Cho will take over my position as senior agent, but he will need your help. Someone to come to for advice when it all seems far too difficult to handle, and someone to cheer him up with a goofy one liner. You are an excellent agent, and i know Cho will appreciate all that you do help him, just as i have._

_I want to offer you and VanPelt my blessing for all that your future holds. I see the way you look at her; i see how much love you share. Don't waste a single moment of your lives together. Don't give a second thought to CBI rules; they mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. What is important is that you have found a woman who you love, and who loves you back. You have time, and you have a future. Keep a hold of Grace; she is extraordinary in every ounce of her being. Ask her to marry you; perhaps not right away, but soon. You two are ready; ready to begin the rest of your lives. Learn from my grave mistakes. I loved Patrick Jane, but was too afraid to even admit it to myself. It is my biggest regret, and i wish i could go back and tell him years ago. Don't be the fool that i was. Show Grace how much she means to you. Live your lives, and be truly happy. Do what your heart is telling you to, and don't ever look back. I'll be watching to make sure that you do._

_I always saw you a little like a younger brother. You remind me so much of my own. Strong and tenacious, but with a heart of gold. Lovable in everything that you do. You hold a great deal of my own heart, and it has been an honour to share in your friendship._  
><em>Keep looking forward, and follow that wonderful heart of yours, Teresa.<em>

Rigsby was truly touched by the words of his beloved friend, and intended to listen to her wise words of encouragement. He did love Grace, and he did want to spend the rest of his life with her. He wanted the fairy tale future, and he knew that she did too. But that could wait a little longer. Tonight was not the time for proposals and plans of a life together. Tonight needed love and comfort, and the memories of a magnificent soul.

Grace heard the back door click shut and knew that Wayne had finished reading his own letter; not five minutes after she had hers. She detangled herself from the window sill, and tried to wipe the tears from her face.  
>Rigsby entered the front room and was taken aback by the beauty which he saw; the beauty of Grace VanPelt. Her hair had been lazily pushed back, tears cascaded down her cheeks; despite efforts to stop them, his sweatshirt hung from her slender body, and her whole being seemed to be weighed down with sorrow, but to him, she had never looked more beautiful in her entire life. She was here; stood in front of his own eyes. She was alive, and so was he. And that in itself was more beautiful than words could ever express.<br>Rigsby and Grace met in the middle of their living room; both utterly shattered by the day. She collapsed into his waiting arms, and breathed in all that she could of him.  
>'<em>God, i love you so much Grace<em>.' Rigsby's voice was laden with passion. He look her face into his strong palms, and kissed her deeply; with love and comfort and the need to mend their broken hearts. Pulling apart from him slightly, Grace looked deep into his tear stained eyes, before leaning her aching head against his muscular chest and falling into his arms once more, '_I love you too_.' she whispered.

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><p>So, there we have it. I haven't ever written for Grace and Rigsby before, so i apologize if their characters seem at all off.<br>Please let me know what you thought?  
>Thank you for reading, Katie.<p> 


	27. twenty six

Hello all. I am sorry for the time it has taken me to update, but i just wasn't in the mood for writing this past week or so. But i'm back now, and even know (almost) what my next story is going to be. But, there's more of that later. Thank you very much for the truly lovely reviews that have been left on my little story. They really do make my day when i receive them.  
>I hope you enjoy the next chapter..<p>

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Twenty Six **

Everyone spoke of Kimball Cho as the stoic CBI agent; an unfeeling man. But that wasn't true. He felt deeply, and truly. Just because he chose not to outwardly show to the world what his heart was screaming, did not mean it wasn't just as loud as the rest of the worlds. Tonight he found his physical barriers completely shattered. He felt so much pain, and so much loss, that it couldn't be stopped from pouring out. His whole being seemed to lag with the weight of his grief. Like some great demon was haunting his shoulders. Like he was tied down to a tether that would never loosen. Because Teresa Lisbon was his best friend in the entire world, and now she was gone. He had never felt so alone. So utterly destroyed. That night he found himself in the leather arm chair of his front room; yet another mindless song playing on the radio, a double measure of scotch in his hand, and the bottle by his side. An ivory envelope taunted him from beside the glass bottle of the fiery smooth liquid, screaming out to be opened. But he needed a moment first. To build up the mask a little. To become more of the agent he was known to be. To find the courage to read the one thing he was sure would shatter his heart like the most delicate of glass baubles. And with that thought in mind, Cho downed the first drink of his night, and felt the fire build up inside of him. He picked up the envelope, admiring the neat hand writing for a second, before carefully removing the ever so slightly crumpled paper from within side.

_To my dearest and most beloved friend, Kimball Cho._

_It has been an honour to spend such an important part of my life with you, and to serve with such a wonderful agent. It seems like a whole life time ago when we first met. Fresh faced and full of all the hope that all new agents have. We were going to save the world, one man at a time. Do you remember that first night out we had? Intent on celebrating our new job, and perhaps more importantly, getting horrendously drunk. Goodness, that was a brilliant night if ever there was one. I don't remember all that much of it, if i am being completely honest; a blanket of alcohol induced amnesia still hovers over a large portion of that night. I do however remember sitting in the booth of some sweat scented bar with you, and planning out the next fifty years of our lives. Oh' how naive we were. Being a CBI agent was going to be like it is in the films. All guns blazing and high speed chases. We were going to put away every good for nothing criminal in California, and retire to some wonderful island in the bluest of seas. I think that i would have liked that very much Kim, a lifetime of friendship in a beautiful place. Much more magical than the realities of our lives. But you know what, we had it pretty good. We had each other. Because you always have been, and always will be, my best friend. Someone to rely on, even on the darkest of nights. When all that we do, and all that we see became too hard to bear, you were there with a shoulder to turn too, and a light to guide me. You taught me what true friendship is, and for that i am eternally grateful. You made my life what it is today; filled with love, and memories that will keep me company as i watch you all from wherever it may be that i am now headed._

_I want to thank you for the dedication you have shown to the team over the past years that we have worked together. I felt much safer doing what we do, knowing that you were right along with me. You've always had my back Cho, and i hope you know that i had yours too. A double act to rival the best of them! I am entrusting my team to you. You are in charge now. You are senior agent Kimball Cho. I whole heartedly believe in your abilities as an agent, and i know that the rest of our team does too. Out team; it seems so strange to know that as you read this they are no longer mine. They are your team now. Don't be afraid to tell them what to do; especially Jane, we both know he needs a tighter rein that perhaps i have given him. He can be one hell of a pain in the ass, but he is also a great asset to the CBI. I hope he doesn't cause too much trouble for you. As for Rigsby and VanPelt, they will do their very best to make this as easy as it can be for you. I know that this isn't how you wanted to become a senior agent, but i know it is something that you have always wanted. You will be magnificent, and you deserve every second of it. Go and show the world all the wonder that i have seen in you from the very second we met._

_And Kim, don't hide away in the flat of yours for too long. It's ok to feel. I took a long time to realise that, and i know we have always been painfully similar when it comes to hiding our emotions. No one will think any less of you for it; in fact, they will probably love you even more. I just hate to think of you all alone. Promise me that you won't be too scared to share your pain. It gets much easier to remember someone if you let out the pain. Eventually, it is simply the good times that come to mind when you think of them. It's the first bottle of beer you shared, and the week-long hangover that followed. It's the birthday cakes in the bull pen. It's the ridiculous CBI picnics that we always managed to get roped into. It's the love that you shared, and not the loss that you experienced. I want you to be able to think of me and smile, not hide away from anything that makes you seem too human._

_I think that i will miss you with every second of my time in the afterlife. I'll be watching, and i expect to see great things of you. I love you, Kim._  
><em>Your best friend in the entire world, Tessy.<em>

And, even as tears spilled over his stinging eyes, a smile passed over the features of Kimball Cho. He really had loved his best friend with his whole heart, and would miss her more than most knew. But those memories that she spoke of, a small glimmer of light in the darkness, would get him through the night.

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><p>So, there we have it. What did you think?<br>There is more to come soon.. hopefully in the next day or too.  
>Thank you for reading! Katie<p> 


	28. twenty seven

Hello again! I couldn't sleep, and suddenly had an idea of how to next move along in my little story. I apologise for it's shortness, but i didn't want to go any further, as it would of taken away from the point of this chapter. I hope you like it..

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Twenty Seven **

It was the morning of Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon's funeral; too early to be classed as the day, but not quite the night either. Three agents and their consultant were sat on the floor, backs against a brown leather sofa, pizza and a shot of tequila placed in front of each of them. Neither really knew how they were supposed to act, if there was even a proper way. Their hearts had been shattered. Their lives put on hold. None were yet dressed for the funeral; they had hours before they needed to be ready. They had come together to watch the sun rise over the city which held such bitter sweet memories, and to raise a toast to the most wonderful woman they had ever had the pleasure to know. A silence encased them, so deep that it could only come from being lost in one's own thoughts. Words seemed too small. Even the most poetic and beautifully formed words in the English language couldn't touch the very tip of what Lisbon had meant to them. She had always been the glue that held their team together. No one would ever replace her; no one would dare try. The room was suddenly shaken into realisation as the great bells of a nearby clock rang out six times. The morning had truly arrived. The day they had all desperately feared had begun.  
>Raising his shot glass filled with the fiery liquid of the day, Cho was the first to speak his goodbyes, 'T<em>o my beautiful best friend<em>.'  
>Following suit, Grace raised her glass too, 'T<em>o the strongest woman i have ever known<em>.'  
>Rigsby nervously raised his own glass, 'T<em>o a magical soul<em>.'  
>All eyes fell to Jane, who with tears in his cerulean eyes, raised his glass to the woman he loved, <em>'To Teresa, the greatest love i have ever known. And to Lisbon, our fearless saviour of the world<em>.'  
>Four shot glasses were then brought together in the middle of the circle they found themselves in; the satisfying clink of glass ringing frightfully loud against the almost deserted CBI building, '<em>To Teresa Lisbon<em>,' they chorused, each throwing back their tequila; a slight shock running through each of them as the warmth began to spread. To the outside world pizza and tequila shots seemed like an odd way to honour their boss, but to them it was the perfect way to celebrate the life of their beloved Lisbon. Closed case pizza and tequila had become a tradition within their team; and all four had wanted desperately to be together to share in the day and all that it meant, before the horror of it consumed them fully. Everyone else would expect to see four members of law enforcement; forever professional, even in the face of such heartbreak. They had wanted to just be together; be themselves. Celebrate the life of Teresa, who had always been so much more to them than simply Agent Lisbon. A private homage to every moment they had ever spent together. Just the five of them. A family in their own right. A family who would forever be missing the greatest piece of their hearts. Black tie and professionalism could wait. In that instant, as the sun shone through cracks in the blinds and sparkled brightly across the entire room, they could simply be who they needed to be. Tears streaked freely down their faces, and yet laughter could still be heard echoing through the corridors. Stories past through their lips of wonderful memories and crack pot schemes. It was as if by doing so Lisbon was still there with them; as if she was still alive.

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><p>Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you thought?<br>See you all soon, Katie.


	29. twenty eight

Hello my little puddle ducks. Sorry for the slight delay in this update, but i have been rather busy that past few days.  
>But.. back to my little story, i hope you enjoy the next chapter.<p>

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Twenty Eight **

The sun shone despite their broken hearts, and Patrick Jane was glad of it. The sun shine had always made Lisbon even more beautiful to him. Sparkling eyes and pale freckles. She looked free and happy with the sun beating down on her sculptured back. And although the sun shine was a very odd thing indeed for Jane to be thinking of at that moment, it was all he could do to prevent himself from running far, far away from the sorrow that awaited him, and the finality that it would bring to Lisbon's death. It was still as if it were simply a terrible night mare. Like he could wake up at any second; snuggle tight against her soft skin and hold on with all his being. It wasn't real. It was too horrific to be true. But he knew that later that day, he would find himself carrying the second coffin of a woman he loved. His heart was cursed. Everything he loved turned to dust. Everything he loved was gone. So that is why, when asked years later, he would say that he thought of the sunshine as he walked along the sandy path to the little stone church on the hill. The shadows of great willow trees playing across the grass. The wind gentle and warm. The sun, as beautiful as his beloved Teresa Lisbon.

Jane could see the rest of the team speaking to a small group of people as he walked ever closer to the church. Lisbon's brothers. All three men were tall and strong. Thick black hair that was slightly curled. Their skin was slightly more tanned than that of his Lisbon's ivory complexion. But Lisbons they most certainly were. It was more than just physical similarities; it was in all that they were. An air of strength and survival seemed to surround them. The same had been the case for Teresa. Not something obviously noticeable; but if you really looked, like Jane always had, then it was clear to see. There was something magical about the Lisbon family. Something which Jane greatly regretted not ever being a part of. There was a time when he had thought that he might one day be just that; a Lisbon. He knew family was important to Teresa, and he missed not knowing that kind of love. A Lisbon family Christmas; that would have been something truly wonderful indeed. But, it wasn't to be. His Lisbon had been torn away from his arms before he even had a chance to show her how much she had meant to him; to his future.

Jane's abilities to charm anyone he ever met were dampened by the aching of his heart, and he feared interrupting the conversation between his team and Lisbon's family. A sense of almost nervousness had come over him. But he had to do this. He couldn't not. He needed them to know how much he loved their sister; how much he always would.  
>Luckily, VanPelt had seen his hesitation and was by his side to help, '<em>Patrick, let me introduce you to Teresa's family<em>,' the grief was clear in Grace's voice, but she remained as poised as she could; not wanting to let her CBI mask down just yet, '_this is James, Benjamin and Thomas Lisbon._'  
>Jane shook the hands of each man in turn; noting the tears that threatened to fall from their eyes, and the all too familiar look of grief that passed over their handsome features. Jane spoke as he shook the hand of Teresa's oldest brother, Thomas, '<em>I am so greatly sorry for your family's loss Teresa was a wonderful woman, and dearly loved by us all<em>.'  
>'Thank <em>you Patrick, as are we yours, Teresa always spoke so fondly of each of you. I know that she thought of you all as her family too. It is good to know that she was in such loving hands whilst not with us.<em>'  
>Jane felt his eyes warm with the threat of tears at the man's words. He would have enjoyed being a part of the Lisbon family very much indeed.<br>The group turned to enter the church, separating at the bottom of the aisle into two separate pews. The two families of Teresa Lisbon; brought together in the most heartbreaking way possible. Jane couldn't help but escape the thoughts of what could have been celebrated in this lovely church; a wedding, perhaps even a christening. So much joy could have been shared between their team and their family. So much happiness that should have been held in the beautiful little church atop a hill. So many lives that were now filled with grief and sorrow, instead of the happiness and delight that was always supposed to be, but never even had the chance.  
>As an organ began to softly play from the back of the little church, Grace caught hold of Jane's hand in her own, as if knowing the thoughts that were running through his mind, threatening to destroy him. And she kept holding tight as they sat and listened to the priest speak of their beloved Teresa Lisbon in the past tense; something which Jane would never be ready for. Not for as long as he lived.<p>

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><p>Sorry this was a little short. But i didn't want to go too far into the funeral service until the next time. Of which i need to apologise for in advance; my minute knowledge of funeral services comes from RE lessons, and i am not myself religious, so i won't be going into much detail on that aspect of the service.. more a personal goodbye from some of the characters.<br>Please let me know what you thought of this chapter? & thank you very much from reading.  
>I will update as soon as i can. Katie<p> 


	30. twenty nine

Hello again. I couldn't sleep, so i thought that another update was in order...

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Twenty Nine **

Thomas Lisbon, known as Tommy to his treasured sister, stood with shaking hands as he prepared to offer a goodbye from his family. It didn't seem real; it shouldn't have been real. Tessy wasn't supposed to die. Not yet. Not when she was still so desperately needed. All his life, Tessy had been there to look after him; to keep him safe. He remembered so clearly the dreadful night that their mother was killed. They were all still so little. Snuggled tight in Teresa's single bed, her thin arms somehow managing to hold onto James, Ben and himself. They had not really understood what had happened. All they knew was that their Mum was not coming home. Not ever. That they hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye. It was in that instant that Tessy had stopped being a little girl; pigtails and tea parties would be a distant memory of a better life. Teresa Lisbon was born. Stronger than anyone he had ever known, and filled with more fight than he thought possible. So many times she had stood strong as their father had exploded in a drunken rage. He'd hit her so hard and so often, and yet she would never give him the satisfaction of seeing that she was in pain. She'd make her brothers run and hide as far under her bed as they could; knowing that their father was too blind with fury and scotch to be able to find them. And each time she would come back to them, and they knew what she has faced for them. Knew how much they needed her. Teresa Lisbon was, and always would be, the heart of the Lisbon family.  
>And so here Tommy stood, on the most beautiful summer's day he had ever seen, a heartbeat away from saying goodbye to his Tessy. Telling the world what an amazing person she was, and letting her know how deeply he loved her. Not a single face looking back at him was free from tears. Some, his brothers and the team of agents he had met earlier, had the exhausted look of someone who had not been a single day without tears in longer than seemed possible. Streaks left to fall slowly as they waited for Tommy to speak. Others, who he suspected to be superior agents, had tried desperately to not show their emotions. The slightest of tears quickly being wiped away; not wanting to intrude on the grief of those who had lost so much more than they had. And some simply seemed shocked by the loss faced by so many people. Colleagues who had spent days wishing that they had taken a little more time to get to know Lisbon properly. Had said more than a passing hello in the corridors. Had held the elevator door just a minute longer so that she could have ridden up with them. Silly little regrets really, but ones that would stay with them for the rest of their lives. A sadness that would change each and every person who was sat in that little church atop a hill, waiting for Thomas Lisbon to speak his words of love and loss. Change them in ways so small that they were never noticed, or ways that would destroy the person they used to be completely. It was an odd sight to see; eerie and lifeless. Grief lay thick and heavy in the room, making it almost impossible to speak at all. But then he looked to the face of his beloved wife, Lily, smiling up at him despite her tears, and Tommy knew that he needed to do this. Find the strength that Tessy had shown so many times. Speak the unspeakable. Shine a light on the life of his big sister, and make sure that the world knew what a magical soul it had let slip away.<p>

'_I want to thank you all for coming today to say your goodbyes to my wonderful sister, i know that it would mean an awful lot to her to know that so many people were touched by her life and wanted their chance to say goodbye_,' his voice shook as he spoke, but still stood strong against the sea of pain that was washing over his entire being, '_My sister was so much more to me and my brothers than an older sibling. She raised us, like our Mother would have wanted to, and our Father should of. We didn't have a traditional childhood, but Tessy made it as normal as she could. I remember black berry picking along this old road at the back of our school. We would come home covered in the sweet scent of berries, with mud from head to toe. And all four of us would make these strange little_ _pies for dinner, that never turned out quite how we wanted, but were even more delicious for it. Never once would she tell us off for getting messy; just clean up after we were done and kiss us softly on the cheek. Those were the best days of our childhood; and some of the best of my entire life. The sun shining down as we scrambled though the bramble bushes. And Tessy would laugh and joke with us. We'd race down the lane. Share stories all day long. That is what i will forever remember about my sister; he beautiful smiling face. Tessy was the great white hope of our family. She shone so bright. She could have been anything she ever dreamed of, and yet, she always put others before herself. Made sure that everyone else was safe before worrying about anything that she might need. The most selfless woman i have ever met, and it is an honour to call her my sister. I will forever be grateful for the life she has given me and my little brothers. For the make shift home we had as children, and the kind heart we could always rely on. That is how she should be remembered. As happy and beautiful. As a wonderful spirit, in a less than perfect world. As my magical big sister, who would lay down her life for anyone that was in need of her help._

_I want to leave you with an extract from a letter Tessy wrote me and my brothers on the day that she passed away. I want you all to see what a truly wonderful person she was, to be faced with such a terrifying fate, and yet still be able to make sure that the whole world was put to rights before she left it.  
><em>  
><em>*I don't want any of you to be sad when i am gone. I have seen what grief can do to people. I have seen the horrors of loss throughout my entire life. Our Father, a once brilliant man, was reduced to an alcohol fuelled monster when our Mother was killed. The loss he felt destroying all the compassion and love that once burned so bright within him; tearing up our family as it did so. He hurt us terribly, but he himself lived a life of pain and sorrow. Nothing could ever replace the love of his wife, not even his children. I thought that was all the true heartbreak that i would have to see in my life, but then i met a man called Patrick Jane. I know you are probably sick of my talking of him by now, but he wasn't always the beautiful man i now speak of. I met a crumbling shell of a man many years ago. Filled with a burning need for revenge, and a grief so great that i thought i might never be able to save him from the darkness in which he found himself. But you know what, i think that i did. I think that maybe i had a little to do with the Jane you see today. The man i love. The man i always loved, even on his darkest of days. But it could have gone so differently; he was so close to the point of no return. So close to becoming a monster himself. Something which i would never have forgiven myself for. And then there are the victims i see every day at work. The families left with a gaping hole in their lives. You see, loss doesn't stop at the person who has gone. It burns through everyone that has ever known them. It destroys all that was once good. I don't want that to happen to you. You are my brothers; my family. I need to know that you won't go the same way as so many before you have. Intent on revenge. Filled with anger. Powered by sorrow. It doesn't solve anything. It doesn't change what happened. I have accepted that it was my time to go. The universe has a plan, and this is where i have to leave it. But you do not. You are all still here; you are still alive. Don't worry about me; i'm in a place filled with wonder and love, and i'll be watching over you every step of the way. But it is time for you to take care of yourselves. You must keep on living for as long as you are able to do so. It is a beautiful world; don't waste a second of your time here.*<em>

_You see, that was Teresa Lisbon. Filled with beautiful words and the deepest of sentiments. So i am here today to not only say goodbye to my sister, but to ask you all to honour her wishes. To keep on living your lives to the best of your abilities. Tell the people you love how much they mean to you. __Take__ joy in the job that you do. Go black berry picking with your families. Do whatever it is that makes you happy, and by doing so, you will be living Tessy's life too. My sister was the most wonderful person to ever step foot on the earth, and she deserves to be remembered for all the amazing things that she did in her life, and not as a feeling of grief._

_I will love you forever, my beautiful Tessy.'_

Thomas sat back down with his family, collapsing into the comforting embrace of his wife, not quite sure how he had managed to make it through his entire speech, but thankful that he had. Teresa deserved to hear how much he loved her. To know how wonderful she was, and always would be.

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><p><strong>What did you think? Please let me know, i am not sure of this chapter myself.<strong>  
><strong>Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. Katie.<strong>

**PS. I have put the link to my Tumblr page on my profile, please have a look if you wish to know a little more about me. It's just little bits and pieces of my head and heart, but i thought some of you might like to take a look. Of course, it is only there if you would like it.**

**See you all soon for the next chapter (:**


	31. thirty

Hello there my little puddle ducks.  
>First off, who else was extremely excited by the one and only Owain Yeoman (Rigsby) joining us on twitter ..OYeoman if you haven't already followed him.. Lovely pictures of The Mentalist cast made me a little giddy tonight. aha! &amp; he is such a gentleman too.<p>

Onwards with my little story. I hope it is still being enjoyed..

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Thirty **

This was it. This was to be the end of Teresa Lisbon's life. Jane, Cho and Rigsby, along with Lisbon's brothers were to be the pallbearers of the beautiful hand-crafted coffin in which she lay. They steadily left the little church behind; the service hanging heavy on their hearts. They were followed by a procession of grief stricken beings as they made their way to the final resting place of Teresa Lisbon.

Those closest to Lisbon were stood tightly together; human contact the only thing keeping most from breaking down then and there, as they watched the ornate coffin being lowered into the warm Californian soil. Rigsby had a tight arm wrapped around Grace, her face slightly turned into his chest. Cho stood to the other side of Rigsby; glassy eyes giving away his ever strong appearance. Jane had found himself between VanPelt and Thomas Lisbon. He felt a little comfort in being so near to Teresa's family; as if he were almost a part of it. He saw so much of the woman he loved in them. He wanted so desperately to take in as much of it as he could, fearing it may be the only chance he ever had.  
>The priest stepped forwards as the coffin began to descend, clearing his throat almost silently before he began to speak.<br>'_For as much as it has pleased our Heavenly Father in His wise providence to take unto Himself our beloved Teresa May Lisbon, we therefore commit her body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, looking for the blessed hope and the glorious appearing of the great God in our Saviour Jesus Christ who shall change the body of our humiliation and fashion it anew in the likeness of His own body of glory according to the working of His mighty power wherewith He is able even to subdue all things unto Himself_.'  
>As the coffin reached the ground a ghostly silence of respect and sorrow seemed to envelope the tranquil setting of the lovingly kept church yard. A moment passed before the priest continued to speak, '<em>You are each invited to lay a rose down, and speak if you wish.<em>' He then stepped back, as if wanting to give each of them a final moment alone with Lisbon.

Lisbon's brothers were the first to lay down the ivory rose they had carried since leaving the church; their wives and children also doing so. Words of love and family were said as they did, tears barely contained. Tommy lingered a second longer than the rest of him family, smiling at a private joke he had shared with his big sister.  
>Cho followed on from the Lisbon family. Watching intently as the ivory petaled flower drifted through the warm air. '<em>Thank you for having such faith in my abilities as an agent, it will forever mean the world to me. Save me a seat on that beautiful island you are headed to.<em>' His voice breaking as he spoke, but his head held ever high.  
>VanPelt took over where Cho had moments ago stood; not quite knowing what to do next. '<em>I bet it's lovely in heaven, isn't it? I always hoped that it would be as magnificent as i imagine it to be. Try not to worry about us; i will make sure that we are all ok. Patrick especially, i will always be here to look after him for you.<em>' Grace's voice was strong against her emotions; she wanted to show that she could hold the team together. That she would do all that she could to take care of them now that Lisbon was gone. She let her rose go; mingling with the others that already lay atop the mahogany coffin. She would allow herself tears later, right now; she vowed to be strong for the rest of her heartbroken team.  
>Rigsby walked up next, setting the delicate rose down as he did so. '<em>I wanted you to know, i am going to ask Grace to marry me; not right away, but your blessing made me realise that it was something i had always intended to do. I don't want to miss a single second of time that could be spent with Grace. I love her more than i ever thought possible. Thank you, Teresa, for all that you have shown me<em>.' Rigsby's voice was whispered; fearing Grace would overhear his words.  
>Jane walked slowly over, his heart beating so fast he thought it might just burst out of his chest. Panic rising as he grew closer and closer to saying goodbye. Images of a past time flashing through his mind; his wife and daughter lay side by side amongst the flowers and the weeping trees. A goodbye that had almost crushed him once was about to be repeated, and this time he feared he wouldn't survive; not without his Lisbon. '<em>I'm not ready Teresa, not yet. I can't say goodbye to you, it's more than i can live through. I don't want to be here if you are not by my side; i don't know how to be alone anymore. These past days have been like history repeating itself all over again. But then i think of you, and how beautiful you would have looked today in the sunshine, and i gain a little strength. I think that maybe i will make it this time. I can't promise you that i will ever find happiness and love without you, but i can assure you that i won't waste my life on revenge. You showed me how pointless it is; nothing can change what has happened. Your love and friendship got me through the darkest days of my life, and i hope that your memory will be able to rescue me now. Thank you for not ever giving up on me. I truly owe my life to you. I love you so much, my little lion cub. I think that i always did; in some way or another. I will see you again someday, of that i am sure. Try not to get too bored without my crack pot schemes to keep you entertained, i will be sure to put on a show for you to watch whenever i can. This isn't goodbye Lisbon, not really. We're too entwined to ever leave one another. This is i love you Teresa, now, forever, and always.<em>' Jane was unable to do anything more. His whole being was taken over by a desperate sadness; too great even for tears. His hands clung tightly to the ivory rose he held; a last connection with the love of his life. He knew he was supposed to be moving away, but he couldn't bear to leave. He just couldn't. But then he felt a comforting hand on his back; turning around he was met with the solemn face of Tommy. He had watched the man his sister loved as he spoke to her, had watched him freeze at the prospect of leaving her. '_It's ok Patrick; she knew that you loved her. Tessy, she'll want you to be happy. You have to try, for her_.'  
>And it was those words, spoken by an almost stranger, that pulled Patrick Jane out of his reverie. He let the ivory rose fall from his hands. He saw it land atop the others. He felt the air change a little as it did; a new warmth wrapping around him. He walked away; side by side with Thomas Lisbon, into the rest of his life. Forever tied to the three souls who his heart grieved for, and yet free to find happiness for himself. He would see them again one day, but for now, he was alive. And that was something very special indeed.<p>

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><p><strong>There we have it, already thirty chapters! We have nearly reached the end of my little story, but don't worry, i think you will be happy with how it ends. At least, if it comes off as i have always planned.<strong>

**Please let me know what you thought of that chapter?**

**See you all soon, Katie. **


	32. thirty one

Hello there my little puddle ducks. Sorry for the slight delay in updating my little story.

I would like to dedicate this chapter to _Lola_, who left a heart breaking review for me, but no way of replying to it. I just want to say thank you for reading my story, and that if you ever want someone to talk to, then i am always here.

Also, this chapter was written to a mix of two songs. **What Sarah Said** (by Death Cab) and **The A Team **(Birdy's cover of Ed Sheeran's song). They don't really match the chapter as such, but they were the inspiration for it. If you are able, please have a listen as you read.

Okay, on with the show..

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Thirty One **

'_Teresa Lisbon!_' The toast passed from the lips of everyone stood in the pub that had become a regular haunt for the members of her team. It seemed like the right place for them all to head after the pain of the day. The team, along with Lisbon's family and a few of her oldest friends were gathered in one side of the bar. The double doors opened up onto the garden and flooded the room with the bright evening light. The owner; Aiden, had come to know the group very well over their years of service at the CBI, and had himself attended the funeral. A shot of tequila to each person seemed the least he could do. Lisbon had always seemed such a beautiful soul to him, and her passing was a great loss to his heart. Aiden had offered his bar as a place for them all to come together. A celebration of life, opposed to the heartbreaking service that had been held that afternoon. Stories would be told. Memories would be shared. A goodbye fitting for a woman who had always shown such an abundance of brightness and life.

Jane found himself seated at a table, not quite reaching the back of the pub, but far enough to go unnoticed for a little while at least. He was content in watching the others gathered at the bar, rather than joining in himself. The stories were too fresh in his mind. They spoke of events that had mere weeks ago happened as if they were long lost memories of a far away life. They weren't even really memories yet. They were Lisbon's life, and he couldn't talk about her like that yet. Like she wasn't there anymore; wasn't a part of their lives. He knew that she was gone, of course he knew that, but it didn't make it any easier. It didn't make the weight of her death weight any less heavily on his heart. But, it was helping the people he cared most for. They needed the light-hearted stories; needed to remember a time when they had been happy. When a great piece of their lives hadn't been missing. So, he would simply sit and watch all that was going on around him. Sink into his abilities to notice a thousand characteristics in a single breath. It was all that he could do to stop himself crumbling into the mass of grief that he feared he would soon be.

Rigsby had his arms wrapped around the slender waist of VanPelt; their love for one another keeping their heads above the great waves of sadness that crashed all around. Grace was animatedly telling a story, of what exactly Jane wasn't sure, to Tommy, Ben, and his wife Gemma. All five were in a fit of laughter, but Jane could see the underlying pain. Their red-rimmed eyes giving them all away.  
>The scene was mirrored almost exactly in that of Cho, Aiden, James, and Tommy's wife Rebecca, who all sat in one of the side booths of the bar. James spoke of what Jane presumed was a childhood memory; igniting a sorrowful happiness in each of them. Their drinks left untouched on the table as they listened intently to all that was said; clinging onto every word as if they were made of gold.<br>But it wasn't the adults who Jane was most drawn to, but rather their children instead. The nieces and nephews of Teresa, that each seemed to embody a little of their aunt; making it seem as if she was almost back with them again.  
>Tommy and Rebecca had three children; two girls and a boy. Lily, whom Jane had often heard stories of from Lisbon, was almost sixteen now. A surprise baby as Teresa had called her. Tommy had feared that they were too young when she was born, but had been nothing but the perfect father for the past sixteen years. A beautiful girl in all ways, and very much like her own mother; striking features, tanned skin and sun kissed hair. And yet his Lisbon's eyes were unmistakable. Forest green and sparkling in the ever disappearing sun. It was as if looking into the very soul of Teresa Lisbon. A beautiful curse on such a young girl. A great sadness was sure to fall on anyone who looked into them on that night; too much a reminder of what was lost. But in time, a loving reminder of an Aunt who had meant the world to her. Jane had spoken to Lily earlier, and had been quite taken by the strength she had shown. She had exclaimed how lovely it was to finally meet him; apparently she had been Lisbon's confidante, and knew almost every inch of their relationship. Tears shot to Lily's haunting eyes as she had recalled the many times her aunt had spoken of the love she had for Jane, and the secret hopes Lisbon had of their future. Lily had promised to tell Jane more of these stories later that evening, being called away by her little sister to play make believe.<br>Lily's sister, Aida, seemed in every way to be an exact miniature of Lisbon. Her pale skin and dark hair; although very much that of the six year old she was, were all Lisbon. Petite and cute as a button. Jane watched as she and Lilly ran about outside. The happiness and delight of a wonderful childhood evident in them both. Aida's innocence taking away from the devastating sadness that was so clear to see in sister, and yet Jane knew that Lisbon had adored the little girl with all her heart. Like all her nieces and nephews. They were every bit a part of her heart.  
>Ryan, Tommy's little boy, was just past two years old. Currently snuggled tight against his Mum's chest, fast asleep for some time now. A perfect mix of his Mum and Dad.<br>Ben and Gemma had one little boy; Henry, who was playing with his cousins in the pub garden. Almost eight and already so obviously a Lisbon. Everything except his deep brown eyes was a reminder of Lisbon.

It was an odd mix of loss and hope that Jane felt whilst watching the family of the woman he loved. Heart wrenching memories of the beautiful little girl who had been stolen from him so many years ago. The life that should have been his. The life that would have taken him so far away from this moment in time. Guilt still shone out like a burning wild fire whenever he thought of his baby, and yet the wonderful memories he had of her were becoming brighter each day. Taking over the pain and bringing him a magical happiness that he had never thought possible.  
>The overwhelming loss of his dreams also took control of Jane. The children that he had always imagined himself and Lisbon having. The bounding dog and white picket fence too. He knew that under the tough 'senior agent' shell of Lisbon, lay the want to have a family of her own. To give her own children the chances that she never had in life. To love them with all her heart.<br>Jane's vision was clouded over with un-spilt tears, and his heart felt heavier than it ever had. He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed the little footsteps that were drawing ever closer to him.  
>'<em>Mr. Jane, why are you so sad?<em>' Aida had scrambled up onto the chair that was next to Jane's, and was looking up at him with childish curiosity.  
>Jane couldn't help but smile at the sight of her sat there; everything about the little girl reminded him of the Lisbon he loved so dearly. '<em>Because i loved your Aunty Tessy very much indeed<em>.' Was his honest reply.  
><em>'But, love is a good thing? You shouldn't be sad because of love Mr. Jane<em>.'  
>'<em>Yes, love is the best thing in the entire world. But i miss not being able to tell your Aunty how much i love her<em>.' Jane wasn't sure how to explain what he was feeling to such a little girl, when in all honestly he wasn't exactly sure himself.  
>'Daddy <em>says that Aunty Tessy will always know how much we love her, because she can watch us with the angels. They make sure she remembers that we love her<em>.' Aida was smiling up at Jane, wanting to make the man happy. Too many people had been sad since her Aunty had left to live with the angels.  
>'Your <em>Daddy is right sweetie; the angels make sure that everyone we love will always know how much they mean to us.<em>'  
>At this Aida clung tightly to Jane's side, tipping her head so she was still able to speak, 'Then <em>you shouldn't be sad, because Aunty Tessy wouldn't want us to be sad. Love makes you happy<em>.'  
>Jane couldn't help but wrap his own arms around the little girl. Her words might have been simple and childlike, but they were really at the heart of the truth. Love did indeed make you happy. Teresa's love had been the only thing strong enough to save him from himself. To prevent him spiralling into an everlasting darkness. In her love, he had found happiness. It was as simple as that when he really thought about it.<br>He felt the little girl wriggle about, pulling at his hand as she climbed down from the chair, '_Will you come play with us Mr. Jane? Lily says you know how to do magic. Aunty Tessy told he all about it!_' and with that, Jane followed Aida outside. It always amazed him how wonderful children made him feel. Like he was really living. Their innocence and unwavering belief in all that was good, was a breath of fresh air against the horrors that life had sent him. And that is why Patrick Jane spent the remainder of the night putting on a magic show, with the help of Lily, for the children his Lisbon had loved with all her heart. In that instant he forgot about the pain and the sorrow that awaited him, instead allowing himself to enjoy every minute of that night. A night of make believe and true happiness.

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><p><strong>Please, let me know what you thought?<br>I hadn't intended to really write this; it seemed to come about of it's own accord.  
>I hope however, that you enjoyed it.<strong>

I think we are nearly at the last chapter now. If not one, maybe two more updates to go.  
>Thank you for reading, it honestly means the world to me.<p>

See you all soon :)


	33. thirty two

Hello there my little puddle ducks!  
>First of all, i want to apologise for how long it has taken me to update this story. I just haven't seemed able to find the right way to finish my little story (it still isn't quite there). Waiting for my GCSE results isn't helping.. i am seemingly too nervous to sit down and concentrate on writing. I didn't want to mess up the ending, so i thought that it was best to just wait until i knew what i wanted to write. So, i am sorry that it has taken this long, but i hope you understand.<p>

On with the story.. I hope you enjoy :)

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Thirty Two **

_July 23rd 2013_

Time is a very strange thing indeed. Minutes can feel like days, years can pass by in what appears to be a matter of seconds. Looking back you are often shocked to realise how long ago an event happened. Waiting in anticipation makes the world pass by slower than you ever thought possible. Time. The one constant that the whole world shares, and yet, to every single person in the universe it can mean something completely different. Time can be the most precious thing you have; time spent with your family and friends, time spent doing the things you love most. To others, it can be a punishment of the worst kind. A life sentence; each day dragging by a little slower than the last. All you want is for your time to be up, but it keeps on ticking by. Then there are the people that do not even consider time to be a factor. Living each day as it comes; screw the consequences and simply have as much fun as you can.  
>Time, Patrick Jane thought, didn't even feel like a real thing anymore. As he lay in bed on the night before the second anniversary of his beloved Teresa Lisbon's death, his mind had wandered to an obscure array of places. Memories of the three beautiful people who he had loved most in the world; who he still did love. The first time he had met each one, and the last time he ever had the honour of being with them. To his own murky past; the darkest days he had faced, and the struggle that simply staying alive had sometimes seemed. And then to the realisation that the past two years had all become a little of a blur to him. He couldn't really pin point anything in particular that had happened. It wasn't that he didn't remember them, because he did, it was more the time frame that seemed jumbled. When had the all encompassing pain lessoned on his heart? When had he been able to walk the streets without every sight reminding him of the loss he felt? When had he decided to start living again, rather than just existing in a state of mindlessness? Patrick Jane, usually so clear on every tiny detail, had absolutely no idea how he ended up where he was today. And where was that exactly? Tonight he found himself alone in a clammy attic. The moonlight flitted through the gap between the slightly crumbling wall and the tattered curtains. His neck ached from the lack of a pillow. The ever present scent of tea seemed stronger than it usually did. At a glance he appeared to be a heartbroken man. Alone and forgotten in a dingy attic of the CBI building. To anyone who could only see him as the man he was this very moment would see the bags under his eyes and pure exhaustion written across his still handsome features. They would wonder why he couldn't sleep, and why he had instead spent hours thinking about the oddity of time. But they would be wrong. Patrick Jane wasn't any of those things. He wasn't lonely. He wasn't wracked by insomnia. He wasn't drifting back into the depths of depression. Because although he couldn't remember exactly when it had happened, it didn't change the fact that Patrick Jane had brought himself back from the black hole in which he had been left. Losing Lisbon had felt like nothing he had ever experienced before. It wasn't the same as Angela and Charlotte, who had been so violently stolen from him. Whose deaths were on his hands. Whose blood would forever be scorched into his memory. He hadn't felt guilt and a need for revenge. It wasn't his fault this time. It was a different kind of loss. Saying goodbye, it helped more than he ever thought possible. To know that Lisbon had been in his arms as she died. Surrounded by love and warmth and happiness. It made it easier somehow. To know that the last breath she took was alongside his own. This time Jane had picked himself up and proved that life was still worth living. That he still had the ability to feel hope, and love. Tomorrow would bring about the end of his second year of life without Lisbon. And although his heart broke a little more each time he thought of a lifetime without her, it was also mended again by the hope of having a future of his own. Patrick Jane had learnt that there was a big difference between being alone, and being lonely. The love of his life had been torn from his grasp, but he still had people who loved and cared for him. He still had a life beyond the grief. Tomorrow would be a celebration of life. The memories they all shared of Teresa Lisbon, and the future that they faced without her. Tomorrow Patrick Jane would start a new life, one that had taken him two years to build. A life he couldn't wait to share with the wonderful people who had helped him along the way. And it was with that thought that Jane realised it didn't even matter that those two years had seemingly jumbled into rather a mess of uncertainty, because he knew now that this was exactly where he wanted to be.<p>

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><p>Okay, there we have it.<br>What did you think? Please let me know.. as i am not too sure myself.

Thank you for reading. I hope to have the last couple of chapters up within a few days.. but if it is a little longer please stick with me.  
>Katie xx<p> 


	34. thirty three

Hello all! We have reached the penultimate chapter of my little story. It is really the last 'real'chapter, as the end will be more of a little epilogue. I hope you have enjoyed reading this, as much as i have writing it. Thank you to everyone who had given my writing a chance; it really does mean the world to me.

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Thirty Three **

_July 24th 2013_

Patrick Jane stood nervously fidgeting with the buttons of his charcoal grey waistcoat, finding the almost alien emotion strangely comforting. It was a reminder that he was still human; still alive. Taking in a deep breath, Jane headed up whitewashed steps that led to the rest of his life.

The camera crews had attracted quite a crowd to their supposedly personal gathering. Curious on lookers lined the little fence, hoping to catch a glimpse of whoever was causing the commotion. Whispers about celebrities and politicians could be heard; the crowds' excitement adding to the buzz of anticipation that had taken over the usually quite street of suburban Sacramento. The sudden interest seemed really quite amusing to all those who knew what the day held; Patrick Jane seemingly managed to create a stir in whatever he chose to do.

As Jane walked out onto the ornate porch way, striding towards the microphone that had been set up for him in the middle, he was hit by another wave of nearly consuming anticipation. To some this day had been a few months in the making, to many it had been exactly two years, but only Patrick Jane knew the whole truth. July 24th 2013 had been his destination all along; this is exactly where he was supposed to be. Jane had truly waited a lifetime for the next few moments to be turned from a fantasy, into a reality. Throughout his life he had shared a great deal of pleasure and happiness with other people; shared in their dreams, and he had been honoured to do so. With Angela and Charlotte. With his team at the CBI. With Teresa Lisbon. But this was different, July 14th 2013 was all down to him; this was a dream that only he could make come true. This was the reason that Jane was a part of the world, if you believed in such things of course. And that was a wonderful feeling to behold.

Jane stood strong in front of the on looking crowd; the front garden of 126 Opal Street was full of all the people he loved most in the world. The CBI team who had never for a second given up on him. The family of the woman he had loved most in the world. Jane might have met Lisbon's family at the worst time of their lives, but he had truly become a part of their family in the past two years. Sunday lunches and picnics in the park were a weekly occurrence. Teresa's nieces and nephews made him feel every bit the uncle he would have one day become to them. They had, along with his team, picked him up from the black hole in which he had been drowning, and made him whole again. Not a single day went by when he didn't think of them. It was the love of his true family that was allowing him to stand here today, and they were all that mattered. So much so that he hardly noticed the crowds of strangers and the tv cameras; although, he would make sure to put on a good show for them.  
>The summer sun was beginning to beat down on California, and the warm wind that whistled through the trees seemed suddenly louder. It was then that Jane noticed that the chatter of crowd had died down, and they were now waiting for him to speak. It had been such a long time since Jane was last in the public eye; in all honesty, it was a place that he had vowed to never again find himself, but he was a very different man to the last time he found himself stood before the star spangled lights of a tv crew. Patrick Jane had always been a good man; but a good man who did stupid things. At least, he was in the past. Now, as he stood before the waiting crowd, he realised that he was truly a changed man. He only wanted to do good with his life; to somehow make the world a better place by being there, and he wholeheartedly believed that he was about to do just that.<br>Clearing his throat a little nervously, Jane began the most important speech of his entire life, '_Good afternoon everyone, I would like to begin by welcoming you all to the grand opening of the Teresa Lisbon School of Magic. Before I tell you a little more about what the school is and why we are here, there are some incredibly important people to me here today, and i would very much appreciate it if you could all join me in thanking them for the wonderful work that they have done to make my dream come true. Firstly, i thank Wayne and Grace Rigsby, and Kimball Cho, who have been the greatest friends you could ever hope to have. These are three people who, despite being faced with the loss of their beloved team leader and dear friend, have been right along with me for the past two years, and have made sure that i didn't stray from making my dreams come true. Secondly, to the Lisbon family, who have all welcomed me with open arms, and allowed me to feel the love that i so desperately needed to make today happen. And most importantly, to Special Agent Teresa Lisbon; our fearless leader, best friend and beloved sister, who lost her life two years ago. Teresa Lisbon has for a long time been the greatest love of my life, and i believe that she always will be. Everyone who knew Lisbon, knew how strong willed and courageous she was, and it is that, that has gotten me through these past two years. I dedicate my dreams to you Teresa, and i hope that i can make you proud._  
><em>The Teresa Lisbon School of Magic is a charity funded programme that hopes to open up the wonders of magic to children right across Sacramento. It is here as a place to escape from whatever life throws in the faces of our young citizens, and will allow them simply enjoy the wonders and fun of childhood. It is my opinion that magic is the greatest art in the world; the imagination and joy it brings never fails to amaze me, and i wanted to give the opportunity for more people to enjoy it. We are going to be running after school clubs and holiday workshops for anyone who wishes to take part. I hope you will all join me today in celebrating the life of our beloved Teresa Lisbon, and the new chapter of our lives that today represents.<em>  
><em>Thank you all ever so much for being here today, please do not hesitate to take part in the family fun day that will be running this afternoon. There are signup sheets and more information on the school inside. If you would like to know anymore, then please come and speak to me, or any of the lovely people in the TLSOM t-shirts. We are here to welcome you to school, and i hope that you all have a wonderful day.<em>  
><em>It is without further ado that i declare Teresa Lisbon School of Magic officially open<em>.'  
>A great wave of applause rang through the garden as Jane cut the emerald green ribbon that was tied across the doorway; there were even a couple of wolf whistles if he wasn't very much mistaken.<p>

Jane stood back and admired the happy buzz of people that surrounded him. The fun day had been running over for a little over an hour and a half, and everything had gone perfectly so far. It had felt good to get back up there; to speak to a crowd of people who were all focusing so intently on him. It had felt to Jane a little like flying. He had always gotten such a rush from being on stage, and it was a wonderful feeling to know that it could be like that again. That he could take joy in something that was far away from revenge, from murder, and from the horrors brought about by so called human beings.  
>It was then that Jane spotted Grace walking towards him, her hand rubbing circles across her very pregnant belly. Wayne had asked Grace to marry him in the December of 2011; they had a beautiful wedding in the little church atop the hill a few months after, and had been living in blissful happiness ever since. '<em>You look happy<em>.' Grace was now stood beside Jane, smiling brightly up at him.  
>'<em>I am happy Grace, i truly am<em>.' And he meant it with his whole heart. Happiness had, at a time, seemed like an impossible fairy story to Jane, but now he had found it. Perhaps it wasn't quite what he had expected from life, but when was anything ever like what we expected it to be? Patrick Jane had a job that he loved, and a chance to make a real difference to other peoples' lives through it. But even more importantly than that, he had a family to share his journey with. A place in the world that meant more to Jane than he ever imagined. Life, Jane realised, had a funny way of working itself out in the end; and from now on, things could only get better.

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><p><strong>So there we have it. Please let me know what you thought? Every comment i get, good or bad, is greatly appreciated.<br>I'll be back with the end within the next couple of days.  
>Thank you for reading, Katie xx <strong>


	35. thirty four

Hello all!  
>Sorry it has taken me a little longer than intended to write this, but i literally haven't had a free minute for the past week. The drama group i am in put on A Midsummer Night's Dream as their Play In A Week.. so i have been learning Shakespearean since Monday night. It's taken me the past couple of nights to finish this, as i seemed to get stuck about half way through.<p>

But, here we are. The final chapter of my little story.  
>I dedicate this to every single person who has taken the time to read my story. I hope it hasn't let you down :)<p>

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><p><strong>Of Many Things<br>Chapter Thirty Four **

Patrick Jane set up the path he had grown to know well over the past two years; the path that lead to the little church atop a hill. He found it odd that not one of them knew the name of the church, and yet they must have walked past it a hundred times. The sun was almost ready to set, but the air was still blissfully warm. His grey suit jacket hung neatly over his arm, and his hand held tightly a bunch of freshly picked wild flowers. The church had a small garden that was full of the most beautiful flowers, which visitors were allowed to pick bouquets from for their departed loved ones. Jane always made sure to leave a donation in the little jar that was fixed to the gate, and even spent the occasional Sunday afternoon planting new seeds.  
>As he laid his eyes upon his evening's destination his heart dropped a little. It still pained him desperately to think of Lisbon, his Lisbon, lying beneath the cold ground. Sometimes he forgot that she was gone; it was like she had simply popped out for a couple of hours and would soon stride back through the door, but then he caught sight of something that reminded him, and his whole world seemed to shatter at him feet. Nothing would ever fill his heart as entirely as Teresa Lisbon had, but he was slowly learning to make room for new wonders. And as he knelt down in front of Lisbon's head stone, arranging the flowers in the ever filled vase at the base, Jane could breathe a little easier than he had been able to since her death. His life was becoming his again. The love of his past would forever remain with him, but it no longer crippled his entire being. Life wasn't such a struggle. Angela had shown him what love was. Charlotte had shown him how you can truly love one person with your entire being. Red John had shown him the evils that walk this earth, and the monsters that it can make out of good men. Lisbon had been his saviour. Not only from the darkness in which she had found him, but in all that he had faced since. It was her strength that had allowed him to go on living, even after she had been stolen away. He truly owed his life to Teresa Lisbon.<p>

He began as he always did when visiting her grave. It was almost a subconscious reaction to being there. His hands ran across the smooth stone; slowly etching their way over each and every letter. Jane felt the all too familiar shiver of grief that ran through him, being here was still too much like lying in that hospital bed two years ago, knowing that nothing would ever be the same again. But at the same time, a lightness seemed to over take him. The freedom to let down every single barrier, and simply show how he truly felt. The safety that he had always felt around Lisbon returned when he came to see her. Closing his eyes, he breathed in as deeply as possible, and was hit by the distant memory of her scent. It still clung to pieces of her clothing and in surprising places around the CBI offices, but never in such abundance as Jane found at the perfectly kept little cemetery. It was, Jane thought, as if he had been transported back to a time before he knew what losing Lisbon felt like. To a day many years ago when he was left temporarily blind due to the car bomb. To a time and place when he was sat within touching distance of her, and yet there was no physical contact between them. To a time when he couldn't see any of the world that surrounded him, and yet everything had seemed so clear and obvious. That scent that was utterly indescribable, and yet so definitely Lisbon, had been so clear that day. It was always that moment that he remembered first when visiting Lisbon's grave. A heartbreaking memory of the most beautiful kind. Jane made sure to keep his eyes pressed tightly together just a little while longer than he normally did that evening; needing the happiness to completely fill him up. Needing a little extra time in the loving embrace of his past before he started up his conversation of the night. For all the love and comfort he felt from speaking to Lisbon, where ever it may be that she was now listening from, it always left a bitter aftertaste. The deafening silence that followed, and the knowledge that she would never be able to reply, shook Jane's heart to the point of shattering. And yet, Jane knew that for as long as he lived, he would never stop speaking with Lisbon.

'_Hello sweetie. I'm sorry i haven't been around here as much as i usually am, but everything has become a little manic at the school recently. I wish you could see it. I mean, really see it. You should have been holding my hand as i stepped out onto that stage. I know you would love it there. I could feel you watching us all today. I'm sure everyone else thinks i am mad for this, but i always know when you are watching over us. It's in the wind. The warmth that it brings and the shivers it creates. The smell of summer air. It's always an understated and almost unnoticeable change, but that is how i know it is you. You, my little bear cub, never needed to be flashy and over the top to be noticed. Every single pair of eyes in the room would find yours, no matter how much you tried to hide away from them. I might be full of trickery and sleight of hand, but you were created of true magic. The kind that can only be seen from the outside; which is what keeps it so spectacular. I've seen it in your whole family. The Lisbon's are magical family indeed. Lily especially. I very much suspect it is in her eyes. The forest green orbs of Teresa Lisbon; every flicker of emotion shows up in Lily's eyes as it did in yours. You would be so proud of her. I've been teaching her magic; only the good kind, i promise. She is going to help out at the school during her holidays and perhaps in the evenings too. I've never met a young girl with such a natural talent for magic. And her eyes, her eyes that are mirrors of your own, they light up so fantastically when i let her in on the ancient secrets of magic. I think i may have a little apprentice in the making. Although, she very often speaks of wanting to join the police force. Can you imagine that; the CBI won't know what's hit them if she does. It will be like having me and you perfectly mixed into one person. The bad guys don't stand a chance.  
>All the little munchkins are enrolled in the school. Although, they must nearly have seen every trick i know these past two years. Goodness, i still can't believe you have been gone from us for two years. Sometimes i think back and it seems like yesterday. I can still smell the disinfectant of the hospital room. I can still see the colour draining from your cheeks. I can still feel the moment you were stolen from me. But then i think of how much has changed, and i wonder how so much can have happened in just two years.<br>I have news on Grace and Wayne. They're having a little girl; Teresa Abigail Rigsby. There is so much happening that i wish you were here for. They're like this real little family now. And i am unbelievably happy for them; they have finally gotten what they always wanted. But i can't help but feel a little jealous too. I can't help but think that, that should have been us. Mummy Lisbon and Daddy Jane. I think they can both see it when they talk about the baby; the longing i mean. But i refuse to get in the way of their joy; i've already been more of a burden to them than i should ever have been. It isn't about me anymore. All that matters is that Grace and Wayne are going to have a beautiful little baby girl, and that they literally haven't stopped smiling for the past eight and a half months.  
>Cho has a girlfriend too, but i suspect you know more about that than i do. He always did tell you things before i had chance to figure them out. But he has the undeniable look of a man in love. Don't worry; i'm not losing my touch. Cho was always the hardest to read, well, second to you my dear.<br>I'm going over to Tommy's for dinner tonight, so i can't stay too much longer, i wouldn't want to be late. I never thought i would have a family after i lost you, but it turns out i have never been more wrong. I feel a little more like a true Lisbon each day, and that is a very wonderful thing indeed.  
>Goodnight my love. I hope that wherever you are; whatever beautiful place you currently find yourself in, that i am making you proud. You saved my life Teresa Lisbon, and intend to honour you throughout it.<br>I will come to see you soon Teresa, I love you._'

As Jane walked back through the little church garden; gathering up a bunch of wild daisies to take with him to dinner that night, he couldn't help but notice the wind as it sang through the trees. The sun had long begun to set, but it spread a warmth so beautiful it seemed to reach deep into his soul. Teresa Lisbon was always watching over him; waiting for the day that they were once again reunited. But until that day, Jane intended to live life as fully as he could. He had lost more than he ever thought imaginable throughout his life, but he had gained an awful lot too. Love had a way of sneaking up on you when it was least expected, and yet always when it was most needed. Patrick Jane had all the love in his life that he could ever wish for. And against all the odds, he was truly happy.

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><p><em>THE END<em>.  
>Please, let me know what you thought?<p>

I have truly loved writing this story, despite not always quite sticking to my intended time frame.  
>I'm not sure what will come next .. i am sure it will be something for The Mentalist again, but i am leaning towards a story that is altogether more fluff filled!<p>

Thank you for reading. I hope you have enjoyed my little story.  
>Hope to see you all soon, Katie xx<p> 


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